thoughts and things

When’s the next one?

It’s the circle of life to assume, and ponder, and ask questions about our family and friends’ lives.(cue hairbrush singing along to the Lion King) but I’ve been thinking recently how really irritating it can be.

First of all, you reach an age, and People bug you about being single. They try and match make, they talk to you as if you have some sort of terrible disease just because you haven’t got a boyfriend.

Then, once you manage to find a boyfriend, one that isn’t a complete gimp, you know that ‘special someone’, all they can moan about is “when shall I buy my hat” or “when are you going to have a baby?” You smile, you nod, you mumble, you avoid all reference to the subject.

If you get married, lovely day, lovely spread, but then BAM! Next day the assumptions are all about planning your ovulation.

THEN, once you actually have a baby, and are sleep deprived, sick stained and zombified as you are, they start mentioning “when you have the next one…” “Save those small clothes for the next one”

THE NEXT ONE? Are they insane?

My womb had barely contracted and people were talking about more. More babies! Dear lord, don’t they realise that for most of the last year, I felt like I’d been hit in the face with a lorry. Another baby was as far removed from my mind as was stripping off and doing a photo shoot with playboy.

Another one? Hold your horses, I don’t know about that yet. I’m still getting to grips with the one I’ve got. And gorgeous and lovely she is too. But also I am tired, and tired, and tired. I can’t imagine being more tired, and another baby equals more sleepless nights. That terrifies me, as much as all the crap I had to put up with at the start too. It’s not like that’s been erased from my brain. I still get very panicky when I think about those first few months.

People make a lot of remarks about When. When you have the next one. When you can afford the next one. I feel sometimes like people are planning this conception in fine detail. Without me.

It amuses me that people assume so much about our lives. Weddings, boyfriends, babies. These steps in life we all take some, or all of, or maybe even none of. I am sure I have done it myself. Isn’t it funny how people can almost live their lives through you. Probably with all good intentions. Nothing like a wedding or a birth to make people happy. But still, it’s a lot of pressure for some, and can be quite annoying for others.

I saw in the news today that people are speculating that the Duchess of Cambridge may be ‘showing’ and may be pregnant with baby number two. HOLD ON.

She had a baby a mere 5 MONTHS AGO.

Has anyone considered she may be enjoying her maternity leave, enjoying her time with her son, and not worrying bout fitting into a size 0 designer dress?

Maybe she has decided to have another baby. I don’t know, I haven’t asked her to pee on a stick recently. But it seems a little far fetched, the evidence being the look of her tummy. You should see mine now, I look like I’m having twins. I really can not bear to think about getting pregnant again yet and it is 10.5 months since I gave birth! Why should people write this stuff? I didn’t actually read the article as I just didn’t want the people writing the article to get that ‘hit’ and people think we are interested in this non-news.

If anyone speculates a pregnancy based on my midriff I think there will be a lot of wrong assumptions.

We may all do it, but maybe it’s time to think before we speak, and stop wishing peoples lives away, as well as our own!


13 thoughts on “When’s the next one?”

  • Oh so very true! It gets even better when you do have two and then people say “well you won’t be having any more will you.” Priceless! How about my husband and I get to decide if and when we want children. And yes I too worry what conclusion could be drawn from the state of my tummy!

  • Oooh yes! I totally agree with this, it was like reading my own experiences. What’s the rush, we were asked at our wedding reception about babies! I’ve decided that I’m not going to mention when we are next trying to try and take some pressure off of it.

  • I can so relate to this! Really can be upsetting/frustrating too when you are trying and people keep asking that question. I remember the first year after my little one I looked like a rabbit in the headlights everytime the ‘next one’ question was asked. My answer was simple – never. But here we are 3 years on and 34 weeks pregnant! Lol! #PoCoLo

  • I have this now and my youngest is almost 5. All my friends and family keep asking me when the next one is going to be but you know what? I’m not having any more. Two is enough and I’m not sure I could do the sleepless nights again. Not to mention the potty training, the food being thrown all over the place and the… well you get it.

    You are totally right – we should all just stop wishing ours and other’s lives away.

  • OMG I can totally relate to this!!… When I had my 1st boy I got asked “you having anymore?” (he was only a few weeks old!)… When I had my 2nd boy I got “awww nevermind you might get a girl next!” (I wasn’t bothered in the slightest!) and then when I had my daughter all I got was “aww finally you got your girl!” and “I guess you wont be having anymore?”… To be honest I wanted a boy haha, I would of loved to of had 3 boys (there much nicer haha). But yeh, some people! #pocolo

  • I would be amazed if Kate was pregnant again so soon, but who knows. People seems to presume that because I was 41 when I had Monkey that I must have had IVF, I couldn’t really understand that, and it did use to get on my nerves. Then all the when? for another baby, they don’t ask anymore, and actually now, just sometimes that makes me sad too! #PoCoLo

  • When people came over to visit us in the weeks after our second baby was born, I’d say half of them uttered words along the lines of: ‘will you stop at two then’? It’s just human nature and curiosity getting the better of them #PoCoLo

  • So true and maddening. And then the next stage in the schedule is ‘is he/she on solid/walking/talking/potty trained yet?’, followed by aghast looks that there might be a slight deviation from this obviously universally agreed timetable.

  • We still get the “what about another one” even now that our youngest is four 🙂 It’s human nature I guess, but I used to find it so annoying when I was younger… The main thing I think is not feel pressured because of it. Have fun with your daughter and don’t let anyone else plan your life for you!

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