thoughts and things

Wanted: Friends


Today is a bit of a low day.

I don’t get them often. But today is a low day.

Today is a day when I want to be able to pick up a phone and call a friend. Maybe meet for coffee, arrange to go to the cinema or have a girly night in.

I want to feel a part of something.

But I’m not. 

I’ve always struggled with friends.  I find it so hard to push myself. And even when I have friends, I can be terribly flaky and some times I just can’t bear to do what I’ve arranged to do. I don’t blame people moving on and not keeping touch.

Is this being an introvert? Social anxiety?

I wish I could be the person I think I could be.

I am more aware now than ever that I need some friends. Depression and feeling crap due to pregnancy plus the  grief of my Dad meant I hadn’t really thought about it until now. But now I’m ready to be a friend. Hopefully a better friend than I have been these past 18 months.

So today I’ve reached out to people I’ve lost contact with, or who I’ve  not made much of an effort with. And if you may be reading this, I’m sorry about that.

I’m looking for groups to go to. I’m talking and messaging and trying to make some links again, on and offline.

I’m being practive, not wallowing in my low mood but pushing myself to do something about it. I think that’s progress really.

So I’m feeling low. But I’m also feeling strangely positive.  Because I’m Making today the first day in my plan to get myself back on track.

3 thoughts on “Wanted: Friends”

  • Big hugs. It was almost like you were writing about me. I suffer terribly with social anxiety. It’s got worse as I’ve got older and moved away from people I thought were life long friends. I hope we can arrange a rendezvous one day soon. Xx

  • This is exactly how I feel. I’ve been quite flaky over the years, but also seem to have surrounded myself with selfish and fickle friends. Not nasty as such, but no effort unless it’s convenient for them. It’s a very bad combo lol! I’ve also not been very good with baby groups etc. Pregnant with my 2nd I’m becoming very aware that I may struggle not having any outside activities and people to see. Especially for my toddlers sake.
    I hope it all goes well for you!! Xx

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