thoughts and things

Going Back to Work

This is my last Monday that I have with my little girl, before I go back to work. Every Monday from now on, bar holidays or sickness, will be a work day. I have been on Maternity Leave since the 14th January this year. I can not believe that the time has apparently gone so fast. When I think about it though, some aspects of this year seemed to last forever.

There have been highs and lows, there have been good days and bad days. I find it ironic that now, I feel settled, I feel happy, I am comfortable with wmumbling-mondayho I am, and how I am as a Mother, I feel I am in the swing of it now, and yet now I have to go back to work. Bubs is so delightful at the moment too. She has such a personality, and every day she is doing something new, or working something out.

I will miss her.

Yes, I am only working two days a week until Christmas, so it’s not like I won’t be around. But things will never be the same as they have been after this week. I have to depend on others to care for her, to look after her, I have to go to work, smile, and do the best job I can. I have to earn the money, for our future, our new house, nice things, a nice life. I know this.

When I think about work, I don’t really mind though. I am lucky, I am doing the job that I always wanted to do, and not to be big-headed but I do quite a good job. I had such a passion for my work, and my vocation, and I have taken a little holiday from that since I had the baby. I am looking forward to getting involved again, using my brain. I am looking forward to it. I have a dissertation to write, which fills me with fear, but the challenge is something that pushes me and makes me strive to achieve. I have all this to look forward to at work.

I wish I didn’t have to go back to work. I have said this before, in another post. My other post was full of sadness, and I really didn’t want to think about work. I have moved on since then though, but of course I wish I could carry on now as I am, as I feel I am in a good place. I feel I have changed, and grown, and I know what I have to do now. Now I have to work out how to do this, and work at the same time. This will be a challenge too. But it is a challenge I am taking on positively.

I am looking forward to work, as I need to see this as a positive. This is why I started my bucket list, which I will be updating soon. I need to think about it, and feel like it’s a good thing. Feeling bad, and worried, is not going to change the fact I am going back. I will never be a stay at home Mum due to my circumstances. It makes me sad, as I think I’d have been rather good at it. I just hope I have done enough in these last 8 months to make sure that she has had the best start in life.

In a weeks’ time, yes I will feel worried, and stressed and sick. I haven’t a clue how I will manage. But I will, and it will get easier. There have been a lot of changes at work too, and so I need to get my head around a lot. But there it is. I go back to work on Monday 4th November.

I just hope I can keep up with the tea consumption at work or else I will have serious withdrawals!

6 thoughts on “Going Back to Work”

  • It’s so tough isn’t it, trying to balance everything and come to terms with this big shift – it feels like the end of an era. I’m back to work on Friday and will be thinking of you on the Monday. I hope it goes well. Is Nancy off to nursery?

    • Good luck for Friday! We will have to swap notes. No, she is going to various relatives, we are hoping to delay going to nursery till after her birthday, just from a financial point of view! It is the end of an era, you are so right x

  • I remember feeling the same way when I went back to work (two days/week) when my daughter was one. It is so tough as you get used to your baby bubble and life at home. The first couple of months are tough but it does get easier. Xx

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: