Screaming. Screaming high pitched and over and over again.
She’s not upset. When I walk up the stairs she has a great big smile on her face.
She’s challenging me.
I am trying my best to ignore. I don’t want to make it a game.
But in the car. In her cot. In her high chair.
It’s hard not to resort to wine, beer or in fact hard spirits. Headache looms and I can feel myself tense.
She knows what she wants to say, but she can’t find the words yet. Her mind must be jumble, a scrabble of words trying to make sense of this mad world.She will point and gesture wildly. She will grizzle and groan. It must be exhausting. I find it exhausting trying to interpret it all.
She finds boxes, and pulls everything out of them. She will rummage through my bag and pull out my purse and all my cards. She threw my shampoo down the toilet today. Little things chipping away at my mind, my soul.
She takes off her shoes and throws them out of her buggy. In my mind I feel like screaming too. Or throwing my shoes.
Yes. She challenges me.
But I must challenge her.
I talk to her, naming objects and singing songs.
Playing games, showing her new ways of doing things.
I give her new foods to try. I wipe her face when she doesn’t like it. I change her bum and make her wash her hair and brush her teeth.
I put her into her cot and tell her when to go to sleep. Sometimes we are early, sometimes we are late.
I stopped giving her a bottle. (She wasn’t drinking out of it at all but she still got very annoyed at me the first time her bedtime milk came in a cup).
When I think about it, I challenge her every day to learn, to grow, to be looked after.
So when she screams, I am trying not to get wound up. I still have a good glug of my wine and chocolate helps. It’s easy to get frustrated and agitated. But I’m trying my best to be calm and collected and to understand things from her point of view. She’s little, I’m not. She’s still figuring it all out – as am I but I guess I have a 30 year head start on her.
Because she can’t keep screaming like this forever. Can she?!
What do you do when you feel challenged by your children?
I am also linking up to the reading residence Word of a The Week as I think “Challenges” sums it up!