thoughts and things

Birthday Bother

I really can’t be bothered about Bubs’ birthday. I know that sounds harsh but I can’t get excited about it. For one, it seems a lot of hassle for a day that she will never remember. And secondly, it just reminds me of what I had to go through last year – yes the birth, but also what is niggling me is remembering all the hassle I had breastfeeding and having to stay in hospital for almost a week – not good memories for me.

I know it’s not really about me. It’s her birthday. Of course I am glad, and slightly amazed, that next week my girl turns 1. But as for doing anything about it, I simply have no desire or energy.

I see people arranging parties, some simple family affairs, others elaborate birthdays that would rival Harper Beckham’s dos. I just don’t see the point. If you want to spend your money this way, fair enough, I just can’t think of anything worse.

A Cake Smash. Really?!

Take one thing I’ve seen being done a lot more – a cake smash. You buy or bake a beautiful cake, then let your child demolish said cake whatever way they like. Professional photographers capture the moment your child goes crazy on sugar, smearing icing all over the damn place.

1. – I’d rather smash the cake up in my face then let the kiddo do it.


Yeah so I’m really not keen on that idea. I think it’s a bit much telling a child they can deliberately make a load of mess when in real life we try and teach them to do the opposite. I understand the sensory aspects and the texture and the fun it may be, but this is cake! A cake is for eating, not beating.

Themed Parties

Themes always sound like a good idea but in my head it always looks better than in reality.

I love nothing more than setting up a Pinterest board and pinning away. For example I had a great idea for a baby naming day to have for bubs – a little tea party with flowers and teacups and a little Alice-in-wonderland-Ness out in the garden on a glorious summers day. I imagined making a glorious cake and having bunting and balloons. What it turned out to be was a cake that looked like this:


And a hello kitty bunting hanging Limply in the corner of the room. And it rained. I’m not cut out for this.

Other people seem to be able to make these ideas come to life. I think most of my issues are that it all costs money – money I don’t have or I don’t want to pay the extortionate price.


Just like Christmas really, I don’t want to have to buy lots of presents for bubs. People ask me what she likes – I have no idea. She doesn’t really have preferences. I found at Christmas bubs got very overwhelmed with it all and if I’m honest, she doesn’t really need anything. I’m trying to think of something lasting, something a bit special that she can have as a lasting gift over the years, but I’m stumped. I tried to start a scrap book but it’s now gathering dust on the shelf. Of course I am so pleased and grateful if people do get her things. It’s just the pressure of it all I don’t like, as well as the fact I appear to be devoid of any sort of imagination!

What to do:

I think I may just make a big pot of tea, let my mum make a cake invite the family around and just leave it at that. No balloons, no crazy decorations, no fuss.

I sort of feel bad that I’m not that kind of person, I wish I was in a way. I just can’t get excited about something that really is just another day.

What did you do for your child’s first birthday? I’d love to know!

14 thoughts on “Birthday Bother”

  • We basically had a few balloons and a tea party with the family for all of Harry’s birthdays so far’; we figure there is plenty of time to get into all the party mad stuff when they are older! Xx

  • For Jess’ First Birthday Mum came round and we had cupcakes which I bought because I cannot and will not make cake,
    For Lottie’s birthday we had a slightly bigger party, in that there was more food, but only my mum came and the cake was awesome and bought from an amazing cake-y person simply because she’s amazing. Lottie’s first was *bigger* than Jess’ to help Jess understand the concept of birthdays, bit odd but think it works.
    For Jess’ second birthday we did the same and in three weeks for her third we shall do the same again, although she did have a kind of Miffy theme for 2nd and we’re doing Princess and the Frog for 3rd but that’s for her not us really.
    There’ll probably be a time she asks you for a big party and then it’s time to worry about it – just enjoy each other for now and ignore what others are doing 🙂

  • 1st birthdays are more about the family than the child. My boy’s 1st Birthday just happened to be three days from his Daddy’s 30th and it was the first one in our house, so we did have a garden party with family. In fact, as their birthdays are August, this has become quite a tradition. I am someone who loves planning and baking, so we have had Themed Parties – maybe when your little one is bigger.

  • That’s what we do with E. Invite the family round and have a tea party. Mind you there is a gazillion of us lol.

    Present wise we are the same, Es birthday is exactly 4 weeks after Christmas so she doesn’t need anything.

    My sister has a £100 limit for her own kids birthdays and Christmas. She buys them presents to the value of £50 and puts the rest in their bank accounts as they get heaps from all the relatives xx

  • What did we do for N’s first? Er, nothing. Well, we had a joint birthday party/get together at our house for our NCT babies/parents, and did the same for the 2nd birthday. But that was it. None of the group did a normal birthday party until their 3rd ones this year.

    N’s always just had a cake for his birthday, and normal tea, although with family all nearby, they all pop over to drop off presents. But I work and he’s in nursery usually on his birthday.

    Cake smash – agree, total waste of cake. Plus N would have had no idea, he’d have just wanted to eat it, and there’s no way he’d let food go to waste.

    For his 3rd birthday a couple of weeks ago, he had a normal day, although I took fairy cakes into nursery and they sang happy birthday to him. On the Saturday his 5yo cousin came over to play and for tea. In the summer when the weather is better, I’ll invite all the NCT lot over, plus a few of his other friends (probably 15 in total) and they can all just play in the garden and have a picnic. No decoration needed, no major expense…just pray for good weather.

  • I threw a party at home with about 20 people. I made Tia’s cake myself, this was more for me then her. I wanted to make my daughters cake and I will continue to do this every year. I actually (don’t shoot me) wanted to do a cake smash but I ran out of time! At the end of the day, do what you want to do. The day will always be special regardless because A) Its her first birthday, it will always be remembered. B) She will be with her mummy and daddy and that’s all that matters. Does she like the zoo? Go to the zoo! xx

  • I agree with this to some extent – I think a lot of people go incredibly OTT about Baby’s 1st Birthday just like Baby’s 1st Christmas and I think it can often be a let down if you over do it. But, it isn’t ‘just another day’ at all. It’s a year after the most amazing little person in your life was born and that should definitely be celebrated – Tea and cake with your family sounds lovely – I’m sure N won’t care if there are decorations, a huge expensive cake and personalised bunting! She might like a balloon though 🙂

  • see I find myself nodding to some of this, as you say at that age they don’t really remember, I still don’t get the idea of a cake smash, like you say it is a waste of cake, I could have bloody well eaten it!!! These days I normally just have close friends and family round throughout the day for my kids and then they have one friend round to take out to play/dinner, it is just another day that becomes increasingly more expensive, becomes more about the presents etc than just celebrating their life x #archiveday

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