I was filling in a form a few weeks back and there was a question: What does being a mother mean to you? And at the time I couldn’t really answer it. But this morning, whilst I was doing something mundane like changing Bubs’ nappy, it hit me.
What being a mother means to me
Being a Mum is a connection. A friendship, a comeraderie, a feeling of togetherness. This person needs you, but you need them too.
She fills a void in my life I didn’t even know was there. She makes me feel whole, complete. I am never alone, and whilst that can sometimes feel like agony, I couldn’t bear it if she wasn’t here. Even when I am not physically with her, knowing she is there is reassuring.
I used to feel so lonely. I have friends, but some are far away. What I mean is, when it was just the two of us, I spent a lot of evenings and weekends alone, due to my partners working patterns. I didn’t seem to have the get up and go that I do now. I never used to do much, and felt very scared and shy at meeting new people. She has changed this – I feel more motivated now than ever. She has given that to me. I make sure we have things to do. We go out and explore. We go out for a walk. I was lazy before, not making an effort when really I should have.
She has given me a reason to do more, to learn more, to improve myself so that I can be the best I can for her. I am all she has – she is dependent on me, and in return I am dependent on her. I only know I am doing things right if she lets me know in her own way.
I do things automatically, and I put her before anything else. It’s a subconscious decision, and half way through doing something like changing her nappy, I realise just how normal this has all become. I don’t even realise I’m doing it.
Being a mother is about loving, teaching, playing, laughing, guiding and I think most of all, being yourself.
Yet she has changed me, I have a different perspective on things, seeing things with different eyes. She’s made me see that just staying indoors was not an option. We go out and face the world – sometimes I even have the guts to face the world on my own. Her being with me has given me the confidence to do it.
What does being a mother mean to you?