thoughts and things

The Fear: Being Pregnant Again after an Ectopic Pregnancy

FEAR, ectopic, methrotrexate, tubal pregnancy

As I said I would, this post is about what happened to me after my ectopic pregnancy experience. I got pregnant again exactly 3 months after I had my ectopic pregnancy, on the first cycle that we tried to, in May 2012. This was unexpected and rather a shock to me; I hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. Which sounds a bit ridiculous when you have purposely tried to get pregnant! I guess I just didn’t think I would be that lucky. After coming to terms with what happened to me during that first experience of pregnancy, being pregnant again so soon filled me with excitement but more or less there was overriding fear that I would have another ectopic pregnancy.

As I said in my last post, when I was discharged from the EPU (Early Pregnancy Unit) once my HCG levels had lowered and then went, no-one ever said what to do if you got pregnant again. There appeared to be no follow-up or any check-up after an ectopic. I found this odd as I read up and you have more chance of having another ectopic if you have already had one. I was very lucky in that I did not have a fallopian tube removed and that I was treated with methotrexate. However this came with added worries for me. They told me not to get pregnant for at least 3 months after having methotrexate due to it being a very strong drug that affects every cell in your body – including egg cells. Getting pregnant before the drug has left your body could mean deformities in the fetus. Therefore when I got pregnant literally 13 weeks after having the medication, I was not only terrified that it would be another ectopic, but also that I could have inadvertently caused deformities by getting pregnant too soon.

I had a feeling I was pregnant again even before I took the test. I purposely didn’t take the test immediately though as I was afraid and also I didn’t want to find out too soon and have a very long wait ahead of me. I felt better being in the dark for a while. However curiosity got the better of me and I found out I was officially pregnant when I was about 5 weeks. I was happy of course that things were positive but I had an overwhelming anxiety and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I tried my best to carry on as normal. This time things were different from the very beginning. This was encouraging – namely, I hadn’t bled at all and had missed a period, and I was also feel nauseous and tired. However this didn’t stop me checking every 5 minutes that I wasn’t bleeding and every twinge, ache or stomach rumble made me worried. I was becoming neurotic and anxious so much so that I felt I couldn’t go forward without knowing for certain whether or not the pregnancy was in the right place. I was terrified of suddenly collapsing with another ectopic.

I booked an appointment with my GP and I couldn’t see her until I was 7 weeks pregnant. It was the same GP I had seen before so she knew my history. I explained how anxious I was and how I was feeling worried about whether or not this was an ectopic. By this time I was starting to feel like I couldn’t breathe at times (which I think was panic taking over me) and I was tearful and upset. I was shocked when the GP told me that the EPU did not routinely check women who had an ectopic previously and the only way I could get a scan was if I was having pains or bleeding. It seems crazy to me that the EPU would not provide a reassurance scan especially if the woman has already had an ectopic pregnancy – all it would take is a scan to reassure the pregnancy was in the right place. In my mind I felt able to deal with whatever outcome the pregnancy may come to; other than an ectopic. With an ectopic there is a very real risk to your life if you do not get treatment sooner rather than later – I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t follow women up who had experienced this – especially those who had to have surgery for example.

Anyway my GP was great and I had blood tests and an ECG, and she wrote me a referral for the EPU explaining my anxieties and querying abdominal pain/tenderness (which was a little exaggeration really). However I was desperate to know and going out of my mind – I had to find out or else I would be living in fear for another 4 weeks and I wasn’t sure my mind could handle that.

So there I was again at the EPU, waiting with everyone else. I felt so sorry for the people there and I did feel bad I was there, more positive than I had been before, when there were others there that were really suffering. One woman  actually collapsed waiting to be seen. However that just reinforced in my mind how badly I needed to know so that  could get help and support if needed. This time the clinic was over-running badly and in the end a group of us had to go up to the ultrasound dept and wait to be seen there. In total I think I waited about 4 hours that day to be seen, which was agony.

When my turn finally came, I was a nervous wreck but at least this time I knew the drill. I had another internal scan and the relief flooded over me when the sonographer told me that the baby was in the right place, in the womb, and that there was a heartbeat. I could see that my partner was relieved, although he had reassured me all along that everything would be OK this time. Just knowing this information helped me enormously. I knew I could face this and start being cautiously optimistic about the future, knowing I wasnt going to have another ectopic pregnancy.

I was then able to book my appointment with the midwives, book in with them, and start looking forward to the next scan. However in the back of my mind was always the fear that the methotrexate may have caused damage. Although I was taking the extra strength folic acid as recommended.

I was surprised that there was no follow-up or reassurance scans for women who have had an ectopic. This may just be something that happens in my area, but I think it is really important, both physically and mentally, to have this. How could I trust my body again after it had got it so wrong last time? Having that scan meant I knew things were OK and I could carry on at work, and at home.

I think as my first experience of pregnancy had been anything but normal, I did find it hard to relax and enjoy the pregnancy and at every stage I have been worried or anxious that something would happen. I don’t think this anxiety will ever really go away until I have the baby in my arms. It has affected how I have been and felt through pregnancy – I didn’t tell people at work until I was 20 weeks pregnant and I didn’t start buying things or taking photos of the bump until I was over 20 weeks. Every appointment I have I feel anxious and worried, although this pregnancy has gone really well and I have had no issues or problems at all – thank goodness. In a way it has taken that innocent joy and happiness that other first time mums must experience with their pregnancies. However I have got through it, here I am, 38 weeks today, and I need to get my head around the fact that there will be a baby in the house very soon!

This was a Magic Moment for me, finding that heartbeat, and being able to move on. I now have a beautiful baby daughter. I have linked this post up with The Oliver’s Madhouse Magic Moments

48 thoughts on “The Fear: Being Pregnant Again after an Ectopic Pregnancy”

  • Honey i can so so relate to this post as although i miscarried early and then developed massive cysts and ran the risk of loosing Joshua. I know what that anxiousness is like and the words ‘i have found a heartbeat’ sounds like and its immense!

    Thank you for sharing such an emotional post with #Magicmoments x

  • It never ceases to amaze me how ‘alone’ you feel in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy which is the time you need reassurance the most!

    So glad for you that everything went well this time x

  • Touching. I have had a ruptured ectopic and 2 miscarriages in the past 12 months and am petrified of falling again but the only way the hospital will investigate is if I have another miscarraige! It’s crazy!

    • It is not fair, is it? I think they should support you more if you have had any miscarriage. I was so scared and the only way to calm me was to go for a scan which I had to fake symptoms for! It shouldn’t be that way. I wish you all the best for the future x

    • I to hear that your story made me.cry I had an ectopic last month and they found it when I was 9 weeks and they removed my right tube doctors told me to wait for 3 cycles but I think I will go insane.I dun know how long its gonna take to get pregnant again and if future pregnancy will be normal all these thoughts driving me crazy

  • This is so me right now had ectopic 3 months ago but lost my tube so lucky to be pregnant right now I’m 5 weeks got to wait 2 weeks for an early scan feeling so anxious xx

  • Thank you for this story! I had an ectopic 8 months ago, and lost one of my tubes. Had an hsg test 3 months ago and apparently my remaining tube is okay. But I haven’t been able to “try” again since the ectopic and the surgery because I am absolutely terrified (to the point of panic attacks) that the whole nightmare of an ectopic pregnancy will happen again. So awfully scared. I just don’t know if I could go through it again. I hear you can only see if the foetus is “in the right place” from 6 – 7 weeks. Which means I wouldn’t know for at least two weeks if its ectopic or not. I am scared I am going to lose my mind in those few weeks not knowing and unfortunately imaginining the worst. I wish I could know at 4 weeks if the pregnancy is in the right place. I’m 31, my hubby and I can’t wait to have children. But I am now absolutely terrified of falling pregnant because of my experience earlier this year. The ectopic and losing my right tube is the most traumatic experience I have gone through 🙁 so thank you for your positive story – it gives hope to me – hope that is very much needed! X

    • Thank you so much for your comment. It is such an awful thing to go through, I am sorry you lost your tube, I didn’t have to go through that, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been. It was very scary, and I was extremely anxious, but I know it sounds funny but deep in my heart I knew this time it’d be ok. Last time,I knew from the beginning it wasn’t right. It’s a hard choice to make, and if it had happened to me again, I don’t know if I could’ve tried again. Even now, I worry in case it ever happened again. If you do decide to try again, try talking to your GP, mine was great and as I have written, she got me into the EPU as soon as she could. Yes, it is better to scan from 6 weeks, before this it will just cause you more stress if they can’t find anything. You know in yourself how you feel, if you don’t feel right get help straight away. I would also recommend speaking to and going to look at The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust website and forum, lots of people there going through exactly the same thing, they were a real source of help to me. I wish you good luck and hope everything goes well for you in the future, whatever you decide xx

  • Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your baby girl. What an angel. I hope your story will inspire others who have been through this that there is hope and there can be good news.
    I also suffered an ectopic pregnancy (tube taken out) and it was traumatic. The experience is enough to put people off trying again but your post is fantastic; so honest and encouraging. I hope other women will be encouraged by it.
    Thanks and enjoy your little sweetie:-)

    • Thank you so much for posting. It is such an awful thing to experience, and I imagine even more so as you had to have an operation. I really do hope I can give hope and comfort to others x

  • Thank you for sharing your story. I had mis-diagnosed ovarian ectopic pregnancy in October 2013. My doctors thought I had miscarried in September @ 9 weeks, but they later found a cyst on my ovary. They went into to remove it and found that the ‘cyst’ had already ruptured. It was sent for testing and I was told it was actually an ectopic pregnancy. I just took a home pregnancy test this morning and was surprised to see it was positive (I am a few days into my 4th week). Of coarse I called my OB right away and was told that I did not have to come in until 2/24/14. I am hoping I can make it until then, but I am so happy to see your success story.

  • Thank you for your story. It somehow gives me hope. I went through surgery due to EP last Nov. 27, 2014. I was supposedly on my 9th week at that time. It was so horrible and devastating to me because we’ve been trying for a baby since feb2011. Your story soothes and consoles me…that if God plans to havee us as parents then it will come.

  • Hi I know you wrote this post a long time ago but I had an ectopic at 7 weeks in late Jan of this year and I just found out I’m pregnant already (we didn’t have the shot just emergency surgery) and am experiencing the whole nervous wait to get my scan to make sure this baby is in the right place although your post has certainly made me feel a little better 😀

  • Hi I had an ectopic surgery on feb 5th almost leading to a near death experience followed by removal of right tube. Its been more than 6 weeks no AF yet. I had sex in between. I have been tested BFN twice a week ago. Please can any one give some suggestions. Am I pregnant or do I still need to wait for AF to come. Desperately trying to get pregnant after the loss of my baby. I want my baby back :(. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Thank you for sharing your story. And congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I was diagnosed with eptopic pregnancy on the 21/05/14 and am still waiting for methotrexate to take effect. I can’t stop thinking about my future fertility and weather the MTX will have an negative effect especially around the deformities it can cause to the foetus . I noted you had similar concerns. Was your daughter healthy and free of any deformities? Sorry if it’s seems like a horrible question but I can’t sleep due to worries about the effect MTX is having on my body. I don’t want to wait three months either. But I am so confused.

  • Im delighted ive found this story, I myself lost my tube about a year n a half ago. My partner an I have been trying for a year now an nothing seemed to be happening. I started taking pregnacare an so did my partner.
    If my period was as much as a day late I got excited but always ended up disappointed. So I gave up on hope an just got on with life an I kept taking my folic acid. Ive just found out im pregnant again an im delighted, but like yourself im worried sick!! Im so afraid of doing anything incase its a risk, an is making working life hard. My partner has been great an is over the moon but I keep pushing it aside. Ive now made an app for this week an my doc is going to send me for a scan. I just hope all is in place an ive a happy ending like you. Your story has been a great help for me congratulations 🙂

  • So glad I came across this . I’m am recovering at the moment after having my right Fallopian tube removed in Friday due to an ectopic pregnancy . Although the nurses were lovely I really wasn’t given any information in if/when I can try again . It really is nice to see success stories .

  • This is such a beautiful story !!! it really brings hope , and tears to my eyes .
    im 21 years old, and just found out that my first pregnancy (10/31/2014) was an ectopic pregnancy, needless to say this crushed my spirts , being that we had tried 4-5 months before we concieved ,a nd i just feared that it would take so much longer to try again, its now been one month since my injection and we started having sex agin, not TTC as of yet, but we want to try again asap. i was thinking the middle of the second month but feared to be to soon, but im glad to see some ones story that was a success and was able to concive so soon after the injection and get a beautiful healthy baby with 10 finggers and 10 toes, lol
    iam soooo happy for you !

  • This story really eases my mind. I’m four weeks pregnant now, and I had an ectopic pregnancy about three years ago which needed surgery to treat. I’m trying hard to keep positive and know that there’s nothing I can do but wait and not get too worried …. But its really difficult. Thank you for sharing your story

  • Thanks for this post. I am in exactly the same situation now, having just discovered I am pregnant exactly 12 weeks since being treated with Methotrexate for an ectopic. I had a chemical pregnancy the cycle before the ectopic started aswell.
    I am just so nervous about it all. Although I know in my area they will offer me a scan at 6 weeks to make sure it is all in the right place so unless everything goes wrong, it isn’t too long till then. Helps to hear someone was in exactly the same boat x

  • im scared of falling pregnant again, iv had ectopic in2013 i think i hav to settle for IVF im so scared that the ectopic will happen again if i try…… & ever since it happend iv neva been pregnant & im only left with 1tube what if it happends to my “only last tube”…. i dnt know what to do

  • I’m in the same boat as you Petro. I went into emergency two days ago with an embryo in my left tube, now I’m sitting here recovering from the surgery to remove my tube. I hope I can go on to have a baby, but the fear will always sit with me. I had another ectopic 10 years ago in the same tube, but it died so I never had to choose surgery or methotrexate. I hope that tube was the problem, and I can still have a family.

  • Thank you so much for this post. I recently had an ectopic pregnancy treated by methotrexate after falling immediately once we stopped birth control and while I was breast feeding my 8 month old, it was quite a surprise as I still hadnt had a cycle since before I fell pregnant with my first baby. I feel lucky that we were able to save my fallopian tube but worry about the side effects when we do try again. I was also told 3 months by one doctor and 6 months by another so its all very confusing for me. I know that I will be nervous when we do go to try again.

    • Dear Solange, thanks for your comment. I was told 3 months by my doctor and I also had to take double strength folic acid but only once My HCG level had gone to 0. Please check with your doctor regarding your treatment and what they advise for you. I wish you all the luck in your TTC journey xx

  • I know this is an old post but I’ve been recently searching blogs for hope after ectopic. I Had my ectopic last April & going on 9 months of TTC our rainbow. It helps to hear good stories.
    Praying for hope and congrats to all on their little babies

  • I know the feeling. I had an ectopic preggo @ the beginning of Feb 2015 and they caught it early enough to give me the mex. Now 5 months later(july 2015), I’m 4wks 6days. Have to wait til next week for scan. Having mild pains on both sides of stomach(dont know if anxiety or cramps) and light spots, which last time was heavy dark red and blood clots(with ectopic) and the pain was unspeakable. I will keep you posted on next weeks progress. This is my 3rd pregnacy, 1st in Aug 2011 no problem. The wait sucks and dont want to tell anyone til I know I’m. In the clear

  • Hi, what a great post thank you. I had a ectopic pregnancy about 13 years ago (when I was about 20). Thankfully my body passed it naturally and being so young I didn’t think about the future and consequences.
    Roll on 13 years and after no periods for a year I was prescribed Clomid, amazingly I am now pregnant on the first cycle and currently (5 wks 3 days) and this fear that is another ectopic is overwhelming! When I am Busy at work I feel no pains and then suddenly when I think about it I get a pain, I think I am sending myself crazy!! Due to the clomid I am having a scan at 6 weeks so fingers crossed!!
    Good luck to anyone else experiencing this, xx

    • Thanks for your comment! I am so sorry you also have had an ectopic, and I wish you all the best for your pregnancy, fingers crossed here too, let me know how you get on xx

  • Thank you for sharing your story! It brought me to tears, I am so full of emotion right now, I am going through the wait to see my doctor now, I am almost 5 weeks with our first pregnancy after the ectopic about 7 months ago. I don’t think others understand the agony of wondering and waiting to find out where the pregnancy is, thankfully my doctor is seeing me next week to scan but only after I insisted. I hope I have the same outcome you did and we have a baby in the right place! Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!

  • Your story gave me hope!! I had an ectopic in April ’14 ( had to have surgery) and another July ’15 ( treated with methotrexate). A month later I had a miscarriage. I am currently 4weeks pregnant and terrified I have cried so many times since I found out. Every little pain I feel I immediately go into an anxiety attack.. Thank you for your words of encouragement!!

  • I was touched reading this as I myself has had an etopic pregnancy about 6 years ago it was quite a serious one where my left tube had to be removed by emergency surgery I was one very lucky girl my husband was in bit while my 3 year old daughter didn’t understand wot was happening her mummy was crying in pain and being took away in an ambulance now iv found out I’m pregnant and I’m filled with fear I can’t stop crying and panicked even when my belly let out a rumble ao i took myself to the hospital with a little exaggeration just like ur self as I had to know everything was gony be ok they scanned me on a portable scanner but picture quality was to bad they couldn’t see much so bloods it was to check my hormone levels wich came back at just over a thousand iv to go for a scan tomorrow so fingers crossed they see wee Bubba and if not then its bloods every 48hrs until they can visabley see where Bubba is situated. ….ohhh man tht felt good to get out and reading ur post has helped me a little as I struggle with my fear so thank you x

  • Wow God is good he gave you a big blessing, i was worry with the same thing i had a ectopic too but Now that i know that the baby is growing in the right place im happy but still scared …

  • This has made me feel so much better! I’m only young an found out this times at year my pregnancy was ectopic and it felt like my whole world came crashing down! Now I’m 6 weeks pregnant and terrified of the same thing happening again! I’m the same as you where with the panicking to the point of not being able to breath! Every twinge in my stomach or slight pain is terrifying me! But this has made me feel slightly better which is something I didn’t think possible!

  • Hi blessed am I to have come across this post , it’s just what I needed to knowmm (sorry for all that you have endured) but I’m glad I am not the only one
    After suspicion and a 1 year and 5 months history of ectopic I visited the clinic today and my test gave me a second blurred line that became darker the longer we allowed the test to be visible for myself and the nurse to see
    So due to the blurred second line I am now awaiting blood test results
    With a fearful heart and mind I hope I am really pregnant and I hope my fetus too is in the right place and will be healthy, my fiancé and I have been together for 9 months now and planning on getting married so a baby would be a blessing

    I just need to get rid of my bruised mind and anxiety I am scared I can make myself sick too
    I pray to God for my pregnancy and health

    I hope no one else ever has to go through ectopic again
    It is my message today to others but it is my scare deeper then a wound

    I would love to hear from you
    Thanks for allowing me to open up due to your post I trust your enjoying your bundle of joy

  • Hi, I had an ectopic pregnancy 2015 May and I’ve just found out that I’m pregnant! Eeeekkkk! I’m so anxious and scared. I have an appointment with the EPU on Monday to make sure that the baby is in the right place. I keep having little twinges in my stomach!when going to the toilet I wipe and look to make sure I’m not bleeding Little scared, keep getting worried, butterflies in my stomach. Hopefully fingers crossed everything is ok for me and my partner. As we’ve just moved into our first house, I just hope that everything is ok as my brothers wife is pregnant again! And I just get upset when seeing people posting stuff on social media. And I’m like here thinking when is it my turn. I hope your pregnancy goes really well! X

  • I had two miscarriages and recently an ectopic a couple months ago. I’ve been paranoid ever since because I almost died. I had many blood transfusions because I was bleeding to death, and lost my tube. It was quite traumatic and because I’ve had so much pain down in my abdomen throughout my years that I have a hard time knowing if it’s a danger pain or not. And because my ectopic was a huge surprise(a “period” came and went) I’m trying to remember any symptoms and they were very mild until the tube burst, so I didn’t notice much. But now I’m hypersensitive to everything and I’m going through similar symptoms and I’m terrified.
    I am very thankful you didn’t burst. But whether or not you did, it’s still scary either way. Thankful they caught yours in time. And I hope you are feeling blessed with any children you may have now. ❤️

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: