Tag Archives: women

Goodbye Granny Pants

When I was pregnant and I was told that I had to buy some massive pants for after the birth, I was half amazed and half disgusted that I had to buy some Granny Pants. 

They looked bloody HUGE.

I couldn’t find any to start with. I just needed some non fancy everyday kind of granny pants. I didn’t even think I’d wear them. In the end I went to BHS and bought about 5 in varying dark colours. One thing I noticed about pregnancy was that every book I read and everyone I spoke to talked in hushed tones about wearing dark clothes and using dark towels and dark granny pants. I couldn’t imagine wearing them at all.  In BHS, I hunched my shoulders, trying to shield my face in case anyone I knew saw me in BHS and then, buying Granny Pants. It was an ordeal. 

2.5 years later…..

I am wearing the same granny pants. The granny pants moved in and they never moved out. I found the Granny Pants to be quite comfy, actually. Reassuringly secure, if you will. They held everything that was starting to flop down quite well. They also hid the bushy nightmare that was my bikini line.

But.

But I am 32 years old, not 92. I really should wear some non Granny Pants for a bit, right? Something that may make me feel a little more Giselle rather than Granny. I realised one day that I had given up on my pants. I had become accustomed to pants that came up to my belly button. They didn’t exactly make my VPL look any better. Skinny jeans and Granny Pants is probably not such a good idea, in retrospect.

So I set off to look for some sparkly new pants. I felt excitement as I entered M&S (yes, I could’ve picked a sexier shop, but you know, I’m starting off gently). 

As I walked into the lingerie department, I looked around at all the pants. Loads of pants. 

And I got immediately confused.

So. Many. Pants.

What the hell was a Brazilian pair of pants? Why were these pants made of what looked like spandex? I picked up a thong, which looked menacingly floss-like. They were the same size as my daughters pants. 

My head swirled with lurid pink, and black lace and little white bows. 

Shorts, high leg, bikini, Brazilian, no VPL, short leg, French knickers, high waisted, midi, waist cincher, thong….the words meant nothing to me. 

How do you even know what knickers to wear anyway?! 

I just wanted some nice pants. Pants I could just wear and not feel like I had a piece of string up my bum.

In the end I just picked a pair that looked like it covered at least 65% of my bum. Brazilian. That’d have to do. 

I purchased my new pants and felt a nervous anticipation about wearing them. 

The next day, I examined my pants. I seemed to have picked up a pair of pants that looked like they were the wrong way round. My derri√®re was barely covered by a lacy back and the front was just as bad.  

I realised I needed to sort out the lady garden area pretty nifty too. A VPL was the least of my worries, at the moment I had a VBL (visible bushy leg).

But, they looked nice at least. If I breathed in. So I wore them. I spent half the day scratching my bum due to the lace and the other half trying to sit down without getting a wedgie. 

Does that happen to everyone, I wonder?

Thing is, putting on my Granny pants, I feel comfort and minimal effort is needed to just throw them on. Maybe they’re not so bad after all…..

What was I Born To Do?

The other day, I happened to watch the film Mona Lisa Smile, the one with Julia Roberts in it, set in the 50s, she plays an arts teacher at an all-women college, where they are really waiting it out before they get married. It was an interesting film, actually, and it started to make me think.

In the film, someone says something about being a wife and mother is a role they were born to do and waiting their whole life so far to undertake. That from a young age they knew that their role in life was one as a wife and mother. And that’s it.

I started to think. When I was youunger, what were my aspirations? Were they to get married and have children? Was I expected to be a wife and mother? Was that what I was ‘born to do?’ and the more I think of it, the more I think that in a way, yes, we are but it is now something more covert, a pressure, an expectation that hasn’t gone away. It’s something to do as well as other things such as education and a career.

I remember when I was little, about 6 years old, having my Tiny Tears dolls, and dreaming of getting married. I remember thinking of names I would call my children. I dreamt of twins, and babies, and husbands. I coveted that toy kitchen from the late 80s/early 90s where in the advert the girl is making her mum roly poly and baked beans.

As I got older however, I didn’t think about children, and wanted a career. My eyes sparkled with dreams of being a writer and a journalist. I was encouraged by my family to choose a career. I would say it was expected of me and my siblings. My Mum and Dad had worked hard to give us the oppourtunity that they hadn’t had.

Yet I know, in the backs of their minds, I know my parents wanted me and my sisters to get married and have children once we had our degrees. This is what I mean by this expectation. They have a preconceived idea of where our life paths should take us. I think we probably all have this in the back of our minds. In the 50s, they knew what they were going to be and do – there was no choice really. Flash forward 60 years and I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life and spent a long time trying to work out my role in life in terms of a career. When I was at university, all I cared about was my course and getting a job at the end of it. Marriage and babies didn’t really come into it.

But now here I am, a mother. Did I make this choice because I felt it was my role in life, my duty? Did I do this because it was expected of me? It’s an interesting question. To be honest, I did it because it happened at that time. Fate or whatever you want to call it, intervened. My life isn’t one big plan. In fact, nothing in my life has gone the way I thought it would. I didn’t start my nursing course until I was 21, after quitting university twice. I picked nursing as a career on a whim. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to consider what my plan was, or what was my next step. I didn’t go through university looking for a husband or waiting to get married, like in Mona Lisa Smile.

I always wanted children but I’ve never felt I had to get married. Yes I used to dream of it when I was a little girl, but as I’ve got older, I see less importance in it. I don’t see that as something I need to do to fulfil my life. I’m happy as I am, and that’s that really. If it happens, it happens.

Funny really that I started to write this before the Kirstie Allsop interview came out, but as I hadn’t finished the post, I thought I’d quickly comment. I have read her interview, and also some of the responses. I sort of understand where Kirstie is coming from – she wants women to be more informed about their fertility and the fact that yes, women’s fertility does decline and then stop altogether at some point. But Who knows what is the right way to do anything – I think that’s a very personal choice – if you want to have children in your early 20s I don’t think that should stop you from going to university or doing whatever you want afterwards, and vice versa – if you have a baby at 40, there should be no obstacles. Not everyone wants children. Not everyone can have children. It’s not the be all and end all of life. But I think Kirstie demonstrates for me what I mentioned earlier – that unwritten expectation of society that having children and marriage and buying houses is all expected as part of life. It’s something we are all going to do, isn’t it?!

Now I am a Mother, have I reached my potential? I’m not sure. I have a career; I am a Nurse, yes it is a little different to the dreams of journalism I coveted as a 16 year old, but I enjoy my job and I love the fact I have a career. Maybe I’ll have more children, maybe I won’t. Who knows what could happen in the future. I love the fact that the future is a blank page for us to fill. I want to try as hard as I can not to put any of my own expectations on Bubs’ for what I’d like her to undertake in life. Right now, the only thing in my mind is that I want her to be happy.