Tag Archives: support after birth

Partners on The Maternity Ward: A Good Idea?

Watching the very exciting news today about the birth of the royal baby, a piece of information caught my eye.  Prince William would stay with Catherine overnight with their baby. 

Hold on, I thought.  I didn’t get that.  Dan wasn’t allowed to stay with me.

Having not slept for nearly 48 hours, when Dan left at 8pm (the special leaving time for dads) I cried. I had no idea what I was doing.  The midwives and health care assistants were there to ‘help’, but with buzzers going off left right and centre, help took a long time coming.  I struggled to feed and I was awake all night with a baby that wouldn’t feed, wouldn’t be put down and wouldn’t sleep.  I eventually fell asleep for an hour with her on my chest. It wasn’t the start I had envisaged.

I understand currently Dads aren’t allowed due to privacy and dignity of the other ladies on the Ward. But most people have their curtains shut, and if everyone had someone to support them, would this be an issue? 

I’m glad William is there for Kate.  That’s how it should be.  How can we ever get equality in child rearing if we exclude the partners of the mothers? It automatically becomes the woman’s job because she’s the one left holding the baby on the ward.  It then becomes the mothers role to pass on all they have learnt, about parenting as well as the baby, to their partner. Yes they get to spend the day time with them but Bubs was asleep most of the time during the day and started to scream just as Dan went down the corridor.

I was in hospital several days. I resented Dan leaving me. I resented the struggle I had with feeding. Having someone to go through that with, would have helped me so much.  I was so down I really didn’t enjoy those first few days – and that’s not right. 

Spending time together, day or/and night, in a safe environment, seems such a good idea to me.  Bonding, working it out, all together.  I am sure if dan had been there that first night I would have coped better and he would have had a better idea of what I was going through. 

What do you think?  Should partners be allowed to stay on maternity wards?