Oh how times do change between your first and second baby….. Purchases Then: Buy everything new. Shiny and new. Now: De-moulding the car seat that’s been sat in the garage for 3 years Baby Fashion Then: Buy a special ‘just been born’ outfit, as well […]
I feel more like myself now than I ever have. Before I had Nancy, I worried that I would lose myself, but to be honest I feel like by having Nancy, I found myself.
I feel more confident, more sure of my decisions and I am not afraid to express them. I think the first initial months with Nancy taught me that no-one has the “right” answer and that you need to go with your own gut instinct.
I like how I look like now. Yes I could lose a few pounds but I actually like what I wear and I’m confident in what I choose to wear. I wear the make-up I want to, and when I wear lipstick, I don’t feel stupid.
I’m starting to explore hobbies, interests, things that I can learn and grow and develop. Things I never did before. What did I used to do before? I had so much time yet I never did anything remotely satisfying with it. Now I’m crocheting, reading, gardening. I’m getting interested in politics and I’m interested in learning sewing, knitting and whatever else pops into my head.
And now, things are going to change. I’m pregnant and due in August. Now the ground will shift and we have to adjust to “normal” again.
Will I have to find myself again?
Maybe it won’t be as bad this time. Things won’t change as much, but things will shift. Being a mother to 2 will be different to 1. I will have to devote myself to another for as long as needed. I will have to forgo sleep and put my life on hold.
A part of me doesn’t want to do that. A part of me wants to just be me. The me I have found these past 3 years.
But this time, I will be in control. I will know what to expect. I don’t have to let go so much. I am looking forward to this time, I really am. Focusing on my family, a baby to love and be a sibling for Nancy. Completing my family and just taking time out to live in that delicious postnatal bubble.
The unknown is worrying, unsettling. But I have to see the positive in this situation and remember that I am stronger, more confident and more sure of myself than I ever have been in my life so far. Right now.
This baby is lucky in many ways because I know who I am now. Me and Nancy had to work that out together. We had to figure out what it was that made me a mother. It was tough, but what a journey we’ve had, and are still having and I’m looking forward to sharing that with someone else too.
A few friends are having babies at the moment, and I am finding that I am increasingly having to keep my mouth shut when they speak. I am trying to keep schmum.
You know, I am sure loads of people were dying to roll their eyes at me when I was pregnant. But it’s so hard not to start chuckling and to start pissing on your friends pregnant parade. I’m smug – I know how it goes, what happens, the reality. Of course some aspects such as birth are individual but there are always relatable aspects. It’s not fair I don’t think to keep chipping in and telling people how it happened for you. Sure, if they ask for advice, then by all means give it. But it’s pretty hard not to feel smug that you know how it feels, and they don’t, but they soon will, the poor buggers.
I’ve found myself saying ‘get some sleep!’ Or ‘you won’t know what hit you!’ And I cringe inside. It’s so annoying when someone says that stuff. But I can’t help it. There’s other stuff I could say, so it’s probably better I say that, than the other stuff flying around my head.
Here’s just some of the thoughts I’m just dying to tell people, but I know I shouldn’t. Probably because they’d think I was insane.
– my initial thoughts on motherhood was that it was the worst thing I’d ever done. No unicorns farting rainbows here.
– Breastfeeding was not easy. And you just start walking around naked because it’s easier.
– yeah you’ll be awake for probably the first 168 hours after birth. Nothing can prepare you for that, even a week or two lying in till 11am watching loose women
– take full advantage of the only time you can ever justify takeaway 7 days a week
-You’ll smell sick and/or poo wherever you go. You WILL smell of poo. And sick. And it’ll be in your hair. And you won’t even care coz you’re too tired.
– Poo. In a few weeks all you’ll actually care about is poo.
– In 18 months time, no one will give a hoot how you fed them, trust.
-Meconium only comes off with sandpaper. (Well, it seems that way, or use at least a bag of cotton wool per poo)
-Try not using you’re arms for a few weeks before the due date. Get nifty opening doors and packets of crisps with your feet.
-you will never be alone, ever again. Even in the toilet.
– Yeah, sure you’ll take turns. It’s just you’ll have way more turns than he does.
-I guarantee you’ll argue about washing up within 2 months of the birth.
– but it’s all great and lovely and almost 2 years later, I can look back without flinching.
I went to see a friend yesterday who is halfway through her pregnancy. I hadn’t seen her since I have had Bubs and so this was the first chance I had got to introduce her to Bubs and to chat about things to her. […]
Drinks in Pregnancy
Not that I’m an alcoholic but it was a little difficult to adjust initially to the sober lifestyle. My midwife advised me that current guidelines state that 1-2 units of alcohol per week is OK but then I had read other information that told me that it is best to abstain from alcohol altogether – advice on NHS Choices website. To be honest I felt so sick initially I didn’t fancy any alcohol anyway! But for me it was not the lack of alcohol but the lack of variety of alcohol-free drinks when I went out and about.
Surely it would be better and healthier to promote different drinks especially in this day and age when people may not be able to drink as they are driving andso on. I like going out and about and I still went to concerts, gigs and other events whilst pregnant. However there is only so much diet coke you can drink. It did make me a cheap date though!
As well as the well-known lack of alcohol in pregnancy, one thing I hadn’t realised was that in pregnancy you should also cut down the amount of caffeine you drink (200mg a day – the equivalent of two mugs of instant coffee). This meant that I had to cut down on my beloved tea. However this has meant I have widened the variety of drinks I consume. You should be aware that caffeine can also be in items such as Cola and chocolate – I found good advice at NHS Choices website.
Alternatives to Alcohol and Caffeine Drinks
At home and at family’s houses I was able to experiment a bit with drinks and some pubs also had a good selection. Some restuarants and pubs also do mockails which can be a good alternative and something a bit more fancy. Some of my favourite drinks have been:
- Crabbie’s Ginger (Non-alcoholic) Beer – this is the original John Crabbie’s ginger beer which is not alcoholic. I found this in the non-drinks aisle near other glass bottled drinks such as appletizer. This is a lovely refreshing drink and in my opinion extremely close in taste to the alcoholic version. It is lovely, refreshing and the ‘kick’ of ginger make you feel a bit perky.
- Soda water and lime cordial – this is something you can get in most pubs and restaurants. It’s cheap, tastes nice and I can almost pretend I have vodka in there too (good when you’re keeping schtum in the early weeks and you don’t want people to notice you’re not drinking.). I bought loads of soda water at home and experimented with different cordials – cherry and lime were my favourite choices (not together I may add). I used this soda water and found it kept fizzy for quite a few days and tasted nice.
- Elderflower Cordial – refreshing and a nice alternative which I found as a nice replacement to drink at dinner instead of wine
- Tea/Herbal teas – I found Yorkshire decaf tea the best substitute for real tea. I have always enjoyed herbal teas, but if you haven’t drank them before they can taste a little bland initially. I keep the teabag in my cup to ensure the flavour is strong, and you do need to leave your cup to brew for a few good minutes. Herbal teas are much more delicate flavour than regular tea so beware of this, brew well and give it a go! My favourite herbal teas are peppermint, raspberry and elderflower, lemon and ginger (nice if you feel a bit sickly), camomile (good if you feel a little stressed) and Liptons Moroccan mint but there are loads out there so experiment.
- Water – sounds silly but drinking loads of water in pregnancy is a must! Keeping hydrated will help keep nausea at bay, help keep you alert when you feel tired, and generally make you feel healthy and glowing!
- Lemonade/Sprite/7up – great substitutes for cola and Sprite and 7Up are both caffeine free which is good to know!
- J20 – I don’t particularly like J20 as they have a lot of sugar in them but at Christmas they do a lovely glitter drink which does make you feel like you’re having a special drink at this festive time of year!
- Alcohol free wines and beers– Now I didn’t really drink many varieties of alcohol-free wine or beer but I do think you have to check the labels carefully as it does state some alcohol content – many alcohol-free wines and beers have 0.05% alcohol or similar. I tried Becks Blue at my work’s Christmas Party and found it to be a decent replica of a bottle of beer. I have also tried Sainsbury’s Non alcoholic sparkling wine – this was OK if you like the taste of what I can only describe as flat lambrini! (took me back to my university days! except with no hangover)
Anyway there are a few ideas that have worked for me throughout my pregnancy. What alternatives have you found worked for you? I really have enjoyed having different drinks, and I can honestly say that most of the time I haven’t really missed alcohol. This is good of course as I am intending on breastfeeding so I will mostly be continuing in the same style I have got accustomed to! But I shall look forward to grasping a great big mug of steaming tea after the birth knowing I can have as many as I like!