thoughts and things

Tag: parenting

When 1 child becomes 2….

You realise just how much sleep you did manage to get, after all.  You realise that your older child has a HUGE HEAD You think your older child will help you,  right? No. Even if the wipes are right next to them,  they will tell […]

Dear Baby 

Sorry baby, we haven’t meant to totally ignore you for the past 7 months….. Dear Baby I’m sorry you’ve taken a back seat  I’m sorry I’ve sort of forgot  I’m sorry you’re soon to be wearing castoffs  And sleeping in a second hand cot  I […]

Finding Mummy

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I feel more like myself now than I ever have. Before I had Nancy,  I worried that I would lose myself, but to be honest I feel like by having Nancy, I found myself.

I feel more confident, more sure of my decisions and I am not afraid to express them. I think the first initial months with Nancy taught me that no-one has the “right” answer and that you need to go with your own gut instinct.

I like how I look like now. Yes I could lose a few pounds but I actually like what I wear and I’m confident in what I choose to wear. I wear the make-up I want to, and when I wear lipstick,  I don’t feel stupid.

I’m starting to explore hobbies, interests, things that I can learn and grow and develop. Things I never did before. What did I used to do before? I had so much time yet I never did anything remotely satisfying with it. Now I’m crocheting, reading, gardening. I’m getting interested in politics and I’m interested in learning sewing, knitting and whatever else pops into my head.

And now, things are going to change. I’m pregnant and due in August. Now the ground will shift and we have to adjust to “normal” again.

Will I have to find myself again?

Maybe it won’t be as bad this time. Things won’t change as much, but things will shift. Being a mother to 2 will be different to 1. I will have to devote myself to another for as long as needed. I will have to forgo sleep and put my life on hold.

A part of me doesn’t want to do that. A part of me wants to just be me. The me I have found these past 3 years.

But this time, I will be in control. I will know what to expect. I don’t have to let go so much. I am looking forward to this time, I really am. Focusing on my family, a baby to love and be a sibling for Nancy. Completing my family and just taking time out to live in that delicious postnatal bubble.

The unknown is worrying, unsettling. But I have to see the positive in this situation and remember that I am stronger, more confident and more sure of myself than I ever have been in my life so far. Right now.

This baby is lucky in many ways because I know who I am now. Me and Nancy had to work that out together. We had to figure out what it was that made me a mother. It was tough, but what a journey we’ve had, and are still having and I’m looking forward to sharing that with someone else too.

The Dance Class: A Parent’s Reality

The realities of taking a 3 year old to Dance Classes….. Last year I thought it was a great idea to sign Nancy up to dance lessons. It was one of those thoughts, where you think ‘it’s probably time I left the house and started […]

How Did I Do It?

No seriously……how? I look at Nancy and wonder how the hell she is 3 years old. And then I think something else: I bloody did it. I fed, I clothed,  I stayed awake, I sang, I cried. 3 years and here she is, telling me […]

Are we not allowed to have opinions anymore?

I love a good debate. I love talking to others about a range of topics and I like to hear others opposing views.

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Having strong opinions and being able to discuss and justify your beliefs are very important skills. Listening to others point of view,  accepting other people will think differently,  and sometimes even conceding someone may have a better point then you to make, are even more important arguably and something I admit I haven’t fully got the hang of yet.

Yes, there are times I may think people are Knobheads for their opinions (look at anything Donald Trump says) but this is part and parcel of being human. We all get hot headed at times. We may all fume at headlines or quotes of what people have said. We may read blog posts that set our souls alight with rage. Maybe we just don’t like what someone has written because it’s just really badly written.

You will at some point say something flippant and “bitchy” because as I said, we are human. It shouldnt be the norm but you have to accept that its a part of life. All of us have people we don’t like for whatever reasons.

However there is a difference in thinking these things and writing them down for all to see.

Parenting is difficult enough. There are so many choices and ways of doing this. There is no manual so there is no right or wrong way. Yet others out there have a manical, evangelical attitude to try and convert the world to whatever it is they are passionate about. Nappies, feeding, clothing, menstrual supplies, car seats and buggies are all topics I have seen this happen to recently.

My question is: Are we not allowed to have opinions anymore?

There are those who will always stick to the most common and well liked opinion; the safe option maybe.

There are those who sit on the fence and tread the thin line between one opinion or the other.

There are those who will totally disagree and may believe something totally different.

That is life.

We can’t like everyone all of the time. People seem desperate to be on the “right” side of a debate and seem to have saccharine opinions in an aim to please the most popular people. To be in the “in” crowd.

People are scared to say what they actually think for fear of a backlash within their (I’m talking online here) communities.

No matter what happens in life, you can’t avoid confrontation. Someone, somewhere at some time will disagree with you.

I’m getting tired of seeing how critical others can be of opposing views which buck against the popular consensus. I’m tired of seeing those who will criticise others for daring to say what they think or believe.

Healthy debate is good; and if you disagree with someone I think you should say it.  In a mature way.

We will all never get on. The world is not a Diet Coke advert with us all holding hands singing “I’d like to teach the world to sing”. Having a different opinion is ok. Agreeing to disagree is something you CAN do.

It’s the way we all deal with these opinions which need to change. I am sure I am guilty of all these things at some time in my life, I’ll be the first to admit.

It’s OK to agree; it’s OK to disagree. I’m going to try from now on to remember that and respect it.

My Life with a Threenager

This is my life now….. Lying in the dark, listening to the Frozen Soundtrack. Making a hot chocolate without cream that should have been with cream but they weren’t going to drink it anyway but still they wanted, didn’t want the cream. You’re Elsa when […]

Pregnancy Perks and Pitfalls

There’s got to be some perks to this pregnancy lark….right? Pregnancy Perks Not having to pay for the dentist Being able to get out of anything by saying you’re pregnant Being able to sit down on buses or stare at people intently rubbing your belly […]

Answers to the question Why?

Answers to children’s most irritating questions….

WHY?

Well, because it is.

Because that’s what someone named them.

Who knows?

I’m not sure really.

What made you think of that?

I don’t know why daddy always leaves the loo seat up. Beats me.

Why are you asking me that?

Because we have to share a birthday cake. You can’t eat it all.

Because it wouldn’t be nice!

Well I don’t shout actually I just talk a bit loudly at times.

It’s just the way it is.

Because the Police told me so.

Because if you don’t sleep you won’t grow and if you don’t grow you won’t be able to reach anything yourself one day.

Well that’s what I eat.
No you don’t eat meat because you don’t.
Because you don’t.

Ask your Daddy.

Let’s think about that overnight shall we?

Everyone eats their dinner first.

Well babies can’t talk because they’re too small.

Something to do with clouds which go Grey and then there’s hot and cold air and….erm…well the sky just makes a big noise.

It’s one of life’s mysteries.
It’s something that we don’t know about.
It’s a secret.

I’m not sure why.

I’m not sure why I don’t know why.

Do you want some sweets?

Goodbye Granny Pants

When I was pregnant and I was told that I had to buy some massive pants for after the birth, I was half amazed and half disgusted that I had to buy some Granny Pants.  They looked bloody HUGE. I couldn’t find any to start […]


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