thoughts and things

Tag: Motherhood

Answers to the question Why?

Answers to children’s most irritating questions…. WHY? Well, because it is. Because that’s what someone named them. Who knows? I’m not sure really. What made you think of that? I don’t know why daddy always leaves the loo seat up. Beats me. Why are you […]

Toddlers: The Top 25 Rules

The top 25 rules of having a toddler, as observed by me. These are the things I just know are going to happen. Let me know what you think!  Toddler Rules: 1. They will always fall asleep when you don’t want them to 2. They […]

Embracing the Mess

The other day, Nancy asked to go into the garden.

Ok, I said.  I was watching her like a hawk. Like one of the guards in a prison like Orange is the New Black. “Don’t touch this, don’t touch that!” “You’ll get MESSY!” I threatened, panicky and nervous that I would have to clean up, re-dress, re-change.

It’s the same when she gets her felt tips out, I feel my blood pressure rising.

“Put the caps on!” “Write on the paper!” “Argh you’ll do something in a minute to ruin my carpet!”

She got Play-doh for her birthday, which I hid.

She started to get funny about dirt, or food or pen on her hands, wanting to wash it off instantly.

Then it hit me: Where’s the fun in this? 

She needs to explore, and learn, and get messy.  She shouldn’t be afraid of getting messy, of having dirt on her hands. She should be playing in the mud, picking up worms, learning about the world around her. At nursery she is always rolling around in shaving foam and bits of pasta. Why can’t I do the same with her at home? What’s my problem?

Because it is my problem. I am stopping her doing things because I am worried I will have to clean up or sort out the mess. Granted, I don’t want her painting with Nutella all over my walls, and there has to be limits, but can’t I do some messy activities with her?

So, I embraced it. I set her free into the Garden, and I went with her. I took a big deep breath and I let her get muddy, and messy.

We planted seeds and dug up mud in the flower bed. We watered the garden. We spotted worms and watered the garden a bit more. She had a fantastic time. I had a good time. Yes, she got a bit muddy, yes our hands were filthy, but when we came in we stripped off and we washed our hands, and that was it, done. It felt good to have been out in the fresh air, to see her face as we explored the garden and when she found things such as the worm. Her face when she tried to weed my flowers and her delight at watering the garden.

Then another day, she found a big tub of crafty bits I’d bought ages ago, and asked if we could use them. I must admit my heart sank a little.

“Nnnnnno…” was on my lips, but then I stopped myself. I said “Yes” instead and we got out the crafts and we got out the glue and we got out the glitter and we made a little picture. And it was good, and fun. It was a bit messy, and things got everywhere, and at times I felt like saying “stop!” but she loved it. I loved it.

Ah, and then the Playdoh. I relented and got out the playdoh. We got out some cookie cutters, a fork, anything to make some pretty prints and marks in the play doh. We made pretend food and we made wriggly worms to her delight. She ‘fed’ her toy baby playdoh pasta, which was one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. I tried not to think about the state of my floor or the inevitability that a minute speck of playdoh will soon reach my carpet and that’ll be it.

I am starting to say Yes, I am starting to embrace the mess, embrace the fun.  It means that we have spent quite a few hours now doing some lovely things together, with no TV, no ipad. It has been positive, and happy and I haven’t been moany old mum who’s scared of a pair of muddy jeans.

I clean up, happy that we have spent fun time together, that we have made (sometimes quite literally) some memories. Every mark on my carpet has a story to tell, every pen mark I wash from my hands remains there invisible, a mark of a time I spent playing with my girl. I quite enjoy it really. Apart from touching worms, coz that’s a bit icky.

Sick Leave Mummy Style

When I used to fall unwell, before baby, although I felt rotten there was some slight excitement about being able to lie on the sofa in a lempsip stupor, watching Homes Under the Hammer and This Morning. Now, when I first feel the signs of […]

Time

I am running out of time, Like sand through my metaphorical fingers. I just never seem to have enough. Running out of time sounds dramatic, but I really don’t know where it all goes. I never feel I have enough time to do everything properly. […]

Short Thoughts 8/3/15

Occasional Insights into my Brain… 

Short Shorts and tights combo is not a look I want to replicate

90s is now considered “vintage” – I wish I’d kept my cullottes and a pair of kickers shoes now

And how old does that make you feel when 90s is like what the 70s (or 40s/50s/60s depending on age)…was when we were growing up…..mind boggles

I broke my necklace, had tea accidentally spilt on me, and nearly walked into the gents toilets yesterday but still it was a good day

I’ve learnt how to take nice photos so you will be astounded by my photography skills (see below) but I have to lie everything flat including children

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Sometimes you meet a few people  and they instantly make you laugh and you know you could be good friends but you hope you didn’t come across as a complete raving idiot

Bryan Ferry hasn’t aged well. Some things are best left in the past

Yesterday I referred to Lionel Ritchie as a historical insignificance, which I now regret

Staying focused and true to yourself is the best way to be.

I’m embracing happy 🙂

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Happy Birthday, Kiddo

I can’t say that from the moment I saw you I was filled with a rush of love and wonder; we were both doped up on pethidine and I felt like I was in a dream. Time stood still; things seemed to take forever. When […]

Nobody Thinks About After Babyhood….

Nobody asks for a 2 year old. Nobody gets pregnant and thinks ahead 2 years. Before, when I was thinking about getting pregnant, and when I was pregnant, all I thought about was babies. Little, chubby little babies. You know, the ones that giggle and […]

Short thoughts 5/2/14

Almost daily insights into my brain…..

I found out today what Beyoncé was warbling about when she was talking about drinking watermelon. Urgh.

Yesterday I realised I hadn’t got dressed, washed or brushed my teeth today. At about 6pm. Nice.

I feel like I meet so many people who I just KNOW I would be such good friends with, if only they didn’t live bloody miles away. Sometimes I feel lonely.

Marvellous creations popping candy is my nemesis. And probably the reason I’m still fat, tbh.

It hit me today that my little girl is 2 this month. Where the hell did 2 years go. No, seriously. Where did they go?

I haven’t sorted out a birthday party or anything. I’m pretty shit at that sort of thing. I sort of wish I could forget about it, really.

I want to do so many things I just need to actually do them, book tickets, make arrangements, live my life.

I keep writing 01/14 when I write the date, I can’t get used to it. I’m living in the past.

Short thoughts 1/2/15

Almost daily insights into my mind…. Last night went well other than Bubs falling asleep, rolling out of her bed and then falling asleep underneath it. Gave us a bit of a shock when we couldn’t find her… I thought I’d try myfitnesspal yesterday. I […]


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