There’s got to be some perks to this pregnancy lark….right?
Not having to pay for the dentist
Being able to get out of anything by saying you’re pregnant
Being able to sit down on buses or stare at people intently rubbing your belly until they let you have their seat. Or give you a sandwich.
Having naps at work
Being able to swim whatever time of the month
Not having to buy any tampons or sanitary towels! Take that VAT loving government!
Not having periods! For 9 months!
Just letting it all hang out. The freedom of not having to suck your stomach in.
If you’re a bit fat (like me) then you will get no annoying “are you pregnant” type questions as people are too afraid to ask
Wearing pyjamas all the time and no one telling you it’s wrong
Bring able to eat whatever you like! No Worrying about dieting….
Being able to fart whenever you like and that’s OK because you’re pregnant
Suddenly getting the energy to plan house redecoration, crafts, spring cleaning the house and pinteresting like a mo’fo
Crying at anything and everything but people don’t mind because you’re pregnant
Being able to get out of any kind of physical labour such as hoovering or lifting 3 year olds
Not being able to have any actual treatment at the dentist because you’re pregnant
Not being able to take Lemsip
Not actually being able to take some medication you can get for free
Not being able to reach and therefore manage your bikini line
Forgetting to wake up after a nap
Not being able to eat all the nice cheese. And paté.
Not having any alcohol.
Discovering how you dance sober.
Knowing the mother of all periods will await you in 9 months time
Feeling so sick you can’t do anything you’ve planned
Getting stuck in the car, wedged between the steering wheel. And always beeping the horn when you try and get out.
People assuming you can’t do anything because you’re pregnant. Like run. Or have a bath.
As soon as you get pregnant, you suddenly get invites to parties, weddings, hen dos, holidays and every social event on the calender. Which you then have to attend. Sober.
Bearing in mind the last 12 months your social calender looked pretty empty….
Being the designated driver.