Tag Archives: friends

Wanted: Friends

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Today is a bit of a low day.

I don’t get them often. But today is a low day.

Today is a day when I want to be able to pick up a phone and call a friend. Maybe meet for coffee, arrange to go to the cinema or have a girly night in.

I want to feel a part of something.

But I’m not. 

I’ve always struggled with friends.  I find it so hard to push myself. And even when I have friends, I can be terribly flaky and some times I just can’t bear to do what I’ve arranged to do. I don’t blame people moving on and not keeping touch.

Is this being an introvert? Social anxiety?

I wish I could be the person I think I could be.

I am more aware now than ever that I need some friends. Depression and feeling crap due to pregnancy plus the  grief of my Dad meant I hadn’t really thought about it until now. But now I’m ready to be a friend. Hopefully a better friend than I have been these past 18 months.

So today I’ve reached out to people I’ve lost contact with, or who I’ve  not made much of an effort with. And if you may be reading this, I’m sorry about that.

I’m looking for groups to go to. I’m talking and messaging and trying to make some links again, on and offline.

I’m being practive, not wallowing in my low mood but pushing myself to do something about it. I think that’s progress really.

So I’m feeling low. But I’m also feeling strangely positive.  Because I’m Making today the first day in my plan to get myself back on track.

I’m Going to Britmums Live 2015

I will be joining hundreds of other bloggers on June 19th for the 2 day blogging conference of the year, Britmums Live! It is a fabulous occasion to meet other bloggers , brands and to learn a bit more about how to have a fab blog. So if you want to find out a bit more about me, see below! 


Name Emily G


Blog: Tealady Mumbles (er, this one!)

Twitter ID @ladyemsy

Height 5’4 (ish)

Hair Brown with flecks of grey

Eyes Blue

Is this your first blogging conference? 

No, I’ve been to 2 other Britmums, Mumsnet Blogfest, Tots Blog Camp, Blog On Cymru, lots!

Are you attending both days? Yes indeed I am. I am sharing a room with Jess from Mrs Helicopter Writes.

What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live 2015?

I am looking forward to this Britmums as I feel like I finally am happy with me, my blog and everything else. I am happy with where I am in blogging, I don’t need to be in any niche, I just love writing and I am looking forward to learning more about the craft of writing. Last year I have to say I didn’t enjoy Britmums all that much due to various reasons, and nearly didn’t come this year, but then I went to Blog On Cymru, became re-inspired with my blog, met Jess and that was it, I was coming!

I am looking forward this year to meeting lots of new people, lots of blogs I have only recently discovered, and also making some new bloggy friends. I’d also like to meet some bloggers I only met briefly last year.  I am also keen to learn more about how to make my blog look pretty.

Oh and I am very excited as I will be reading one of my posts in the Blogger’s Keynote! So please laugh when it’s supposed to be funny and please cheer me on as I am bricking it slightly!

If you see me, please say hello. I am terrible at small talk but I am a friendly soul!

What are you wearing? 

I am not sure. I have bought some dresses, so one of those will likely be worn. I also have some trendy ripped jeans so I guess I should get those out as well!

I need to find myself something to wear for my Blogger’s Keynote too…something that will instantly make me look 2 dress sizes smaller and possibly withold any wee I may emit in my nervousness….

What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live 2015?

Friends, new information on how to make my blog amazing, positivity. Happy times. Maybe some exciting opportunities!

Do you have any tips to pass on to others who may not have been before?

– Wear layers as it can get very hot in there

– eat lunch or something before you go, as I was starving and then you get free drinks and then….carnage

– Make sure you have enough room in your suitcase for the goody bag, it can be very heavy!

– bring a bit of cash if you want to buy any books and get them signed

– smile! talk to everyone you see, and just have a great time.

I look forward to seeing you at Britmums!

Friends

I am not very good at making friends. I have written about this before, about mummy groups. But this time I am talking about friends. I always wanted to have a group of friends like…er…Friends, but it just seems that I am not cut out for that sort of thing.

It didn’t help that throughout my life, I moved a lot, and so lost touch with a lot of people who were good friends. It doesn’t help I moved away from Nottingham, and that most of my friends still live Up North.

It is hard to make friends when you are older. Especially if you are like me. Especially when you work with nearly all people 20 years older than you. I am quiet, I am shy, but if you get to know me, I am nothing like that. I am funny, and have a great sense of humour. I am very good at giving advice, chatting, cheering people up. I will always be there for people. If I connect with someone, then it works. If I don’t, I don’t. I can’t be bothered with people who aren’t on my wavelength. I guess I am a little picky about Friends.

I should have known really, not to try to organise a party, as I had to invite so many people, people who probably not my bestest friends, but people I do get along with. I should not organise parties, I am great at attending events and parties, but organising my own, I should never try to do. It just causes me great anxiety, and stress, and I never enjoy it anyway. But I am 30 and so I thought I would make an exception.

My friends are precious to me, and when I see them, its like we take off from where we last met. It’s not awkward, its great, we can talk, chat and its like we live so close we’re popping in for a cuppa. I wish so much I still lived up north. But I doubt I’ll ever move up there now. I understand my friends have lives up there, as I do down here, and that driving hundreds of miles for a party is expensive and not always possible. I understand that I value their friendship so much as I have so few friends here, and that for them, I am just one of many friends they have. But I can’t help but feel down when they say they can’t come.

There are people I met through work, who I thought were friends, but it doesn’t seem that way, although a few people have been lovely and stay in touch. I just feel deflated, I try so hard to be liked, to be friendly, I just wish I could meet people like me. People who want to spend time with me. Why Can’t I find anyone?

I am an introvert, and I am a total nerd. I love my computer, and I love the people I have met on twitter. When I went to Britmums, I didn’t feel like what I have described above. I met people like me. Who understood me. Who laughed like me. I have met some people since then as well, as I think we have got on really well. No pretence. And everyone online who answers my silly tweets, helps me boil an egg, I value you all. because you are all friends to me.

In real life, I tried to organise a party for my 30th. Under a quarter of the people I invited got back to me. A pathetic amount. But those people who got back to me, include people I met on here. People who are making a lot of effort to come and see me. More effort than people I have known a lot longer, in Real Life. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few people in real life who have also made a big effort.

I am no good at making friends, and this party was the first one I’d ever have as I have never had one before. But even now, 30 years old, I can’t fill a room.

I don’t know what this post is about, other than a little rant for me, but I guess what I am saying is, thank you. I appreciate everyone reading this, and everyone who interacts with me regularly. I may be a big fat saddo, but it seems I have more friends ‘virtually’ than I have for real. Although I like to think these friendships are real.

I know what the meaning of this post is! I’d rather have a handful of brilliant friends than a room full of people who didn’t really want to be there. So thank you everyone who got back to me, because I know now who my friends are. And we will have a fab time on Saturday I am sure. Or rather, I’ll be too drunk to care by then.

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