Well, I am now 10 days overdue! What on earth is that about? I was prepared to go over my due date but to be honest I feel 10 days is taking the piss slightly.
I have had a pretty trouble free pregnancy, and health wise things have been good, and I have been lucky. So I can’t really complain that I have to wait a bit longer. However, since about the week before my due date I have been inundated with nosey parkers and people I barely know and my actually family who also drive me mad…asking me where the baby is?
Er, it’s quite evidently still in my bloody stomach!
I have had people tell me to eat curry!, pineapple, have sex, bounce on my ball, go for a hike, jump up and down, drink raspberry leaf tea, and god knows what else. As if I hadnt thought of any of these before! They look at me as if to say, ‘What are you playing at, Emily? Why havent you had the baby?’ as if I am purposely clenching my cervix together to keep this baby in.
I know people mean well, and the effect of having a baby spreads far and wide – it brings happiness to a lot of people, even people I havent even met (people at my sisters work have been knitting and crocheting things for the baby!) and in a way its nice that it can have such a positive affect on people. But I dont appreciate people hassling me for news. They start subtley.
1st Cousin Twice Removed: ‘Are you OK’? (interpretation: have you had this baby yet?’)
Me: Yes am fine
1st Cousin Twice Removed: ‘Any News?’ (interpretation: why havent you mentioned the baby yet?’)
Me: ‘No News!’
Now, I’m pretty sure that if I had anything to say, I would have told you – Im not likely to hide my newborn baby away and pretend to be pregnant just for the sake of it.
And if anyone tells me again that first babies are always late blah blah blah – it’s stuff I already know, actually. Talk to me about eastenders, or the news, or whether ive eaten a horsemeat burger. But please stop trying to inquire about my cervix.
Yes, I know it appears that being pregnant I have signed away my dignity, apparently (thanks Mum for that pearl of wisdom), but I actually dont want to talk about my vagina all day long, or my cervix. When people realise I am so overdue, they ask me ‘Have I had a sweep yet?’ meaning a stretch and sweep. I’m not that comfortable having to discuss such things to my partner’s Mother’s neighbours.
To top it off, the midwives have tried a stretch and sweep twice and both times my cervix has been clamped shut. Therefore when people ask this, and I say yes, It sort of leads to having to explain my cervix is not open. and hence more conversations about how to get it to open. It’s not stuff I like to discuss on the driveway. I dont understand why people have to ask such intimate questions. Like they tell me to have sex! start talking to me about sperm and its effect on the cervix! To. Much. Information….
It’s funny though, when I ask them if they want a photo of the aftermath of the birth and its affect on my vagina, they start to shut up a bit…..
So, anyway, here I am, 10 days overdue, ready to punch the next person who tells me to eat a vindaloo. I have been booked in for an Induction. I know I could leave it a bit longer, leave it to nature, see what happens but I am tired. Yes, I am tired of being pregnant. I have been feeling a bit lost these 10 days and it has only reinforced my feelings that I feel this is not really happening to me, and I still can’t imagine actually having a baby to look after. So I’d rather just get it over with. I am also worried about leaving it too long due to risks of stillbirth and I know the placenta does start to shut down after a certain length of time. After all I have been through, I don’t want anything to happen now.
So I have maximum 2 days to go before they start me off. Which to my organised mind, makes me feel better as I have something to aim for, and something to prepare for. If it happens in the next 2 days naturally, then all the better. And it will at least shut people up for now. I am going to spend the next two days coming up with a list of witty and possible offensive responses to the inevitable array of questions I will get once baby appears….