No I’m not pregnant….

I’m just not drinking alcohol 

I’m the designated driver 

I’m not that fond of shellfish

I just ate too much at lunchtime 

I’ve given up Diet Coke

I’m just wearing leggings because of my hairy legs

I got so used to using my stomach as a tea cup holder I never stopped 

Just because two people at work are, doesn’t mean I am

I’m just cutting out caffeine because I am a sadist 

I don’t fancy that rollercoaster, ok?

I’m waddling because I seem to have injured my hip picking up a 2 stone toddler 

I like water 

I’m just wearing a dress which accentuates my stomach 

I just caught my daughters sickness bug

This pair of maternity trousers were the only clean ones I had 

They only had decaff at the shop, and I was desperate 

I just like trying new things! So what if I’ve never eaten prawns before…

I accidentally bought this top from the maternity section 

It’s perfectly normal to cry at The Great British Bake Off

I’m just fat!

My daughter is just 2 years old, I didn’t realise that meant I should be pregnant by now 

30 thoughts on “No I’m not pregnant….


    ha ha !!! Very funny!!!! I;m not drinking!! (pregnant!!!) am however not pregnant but sport a chocolate pot nelly and have been asked 3 times (once by our babysitter) if am expecting number 3!!! For the love of god ‘noooooooooooo!!!’ They obviously haven’t seen me enough with my second child who is destroying me at the moment with the trantrums!! ha ha xxx No more for me #brilliant blogposts

  2. The DADventurer

    Haha. This is definitely one benefit of being a dad. I’ve read between the lines too – the fact that you’ve written this must mean that you’re pregnant! Congrats! 🙂

    1. Emily Tealady Post author

      Exactly! Why can’t we drink decaff, not drink alcohol and well,must be ourselves without someone trying to interpret it as something else! Thanks for commenting x

  3. Morgan Prince

    Hehe, brilliant! Yes, I remember when BP was 2 I was constantly asked when I was having another! And then once LP was 2 they all thought I’d ‘try for a girl’ – NOPE 2 children is MORE THAN ENOUGH!! Especially two boys! Loved this post.

    Stopping by via Blog Builders FB page.

  4. rhymingwithwine

    Haha brilliant and I was nodding my head throughout. It’s like once you’ve had a baby your womb’s activity or lack of becomes public information all of a sudden? “So when you having your next one?” “You pregnant yet??” Blah blah bleugh! Love this post. It needs printing on a t shirt.. x


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