thoughts and things

Is it coz I’m cool?

As I was driving along to the sounds of Radio One, I was feeling pretty good. The were a few dancey tunes on that I love, the sun was shining and I was feeling pretty awesome.

You know The Awesome you feel when you’re in a car on your own, singing songs and imagining a life of parties, champagne and excess. Yes, in the car you can be anyone you want to be. In your Awesome zone, you could just drive off anywhere you want, and do anything you want. I was that person for 5 minutes.

But then this really awful song, something about German Whips (no idea), came on and the screechy beat made me want to vomit. I felt like I was getting a headache.

And then, they started talking about momentous times in your life, and one suggestion was passing your GCSEs.

My brain couldn’t compute.

I felt really, really old all of a sudden. My car facade was slipping.

Cue slow motion action of me switching the radio over……to RADIO TWO.

My throat was dry, my heart was heavy. What had I done?

Argh! What am I becoming?

The problem is, I’ve always been a very cool person in my head. I’ve always liked new music, dance music and kept up to date with my knowledge of popular TV shows and bbc three comedies. I do genuinely like things that are a little left-field, a bit different. I don’t like following the crowds.

in my head I know exactly what clubs or bars I’d go to if I ever actually went and I know what I’d wear as in my head I am not fat. In my head, I’m like Annie Mac without the big hair and DJ skills.

When I’m driving around, I am not Emily the slightly plump 30 year old first time mum, I am Emily, the cool hipster person who works hard, parties harder and works to live her partay lifestyle.

So yesterday I sort of felt a bit deflated, once I’d got out of the car. My bubble had burst. I felt old, and almost felt like saying “it was better in my day”.

I need to get my car mojo back.



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