Don’t look back in Anger

All of a sudden, Bubs can get angry.

She really, really gets angry. It’s different from the crying. This is clear agitation, frustration and you can see how wound up she gets.

Is this the terrible twos at 15 months?

It’s an interesting thing to watch. How can she feel anger? Where has it come from?

She will throw things around, she will hit the table. She even tried to pull my hair the other day! Seriously. All because I wouldn’t let her stand on the table…..

She will roar at me, a low glutteral growl that actually sends a bit of a shiver down my spine.

She points. What’s she pointing at? A knife. She’s wants a knife. Ok, so I know she can’t have a knife.

But then she makes that growl. I say no. I wait.

She turns into a werewolf.

I find it so weird how she can be angry and how she tries to take it out on me. I don’t know why, but it seems so grown up.

Things she’s been angry about today:

Not being able to stand on the table
Not being able to have an orange
Cbeebies had finished for the evening
She wanted a fork
She wanted the car seat
I mentioned the word ‘sleep’
She wanted to wear her shoes indoors

How do we start to manage this? A lot of it is around communication, and understanding. She wants something but doesn’t understand it could kill her. Or someone else. I try and distract her and take her mind off things. Usually this works.

Sometimes, she just needs a rest. Or a bribery will work.

I stay calm, and try not to show much reaction. She is looking for a reaction sometimes, I think. Some of this is about boundaries. I will tell her that she can’t have the knife, or climb up on the table.

The biggest thing, is not to take it personal. Which you can do when she smears weetabix over your work clothes just before you leave for work. She’s learning. She’s growing. We all get angry, we can all throw our toys out of the cot.

I try and do what Noël Gallagher says – Don’t Look Back in Anger.

20 thoughts on “Don’t look back in Anger

  1. Katie

    Haha, made me laugh that N gone cross because she couldn’t have a knife! Toddlers are crazy sometimes =] Erin is like this too at the moment. We had our first public tantrum the other week, pretty much because she dropped her babybel! I totally understand the trying not to take it personally, sometimes its hard not to though xxx

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  2. Emily

    Goodness me, N is funny. Although it’s frustrating. I distinctly remember M going through a phase like that at that age. You have plenty more fun to come 😉 we had a fu scale melt down at pre school today because I asked him to sit down and wait for school to open. He wanted it open now so threw himself on the floor.
    It’s a sign she’s learning and trying to see what her boundaries are. You’re doing great xx

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  3. jenny

    My friends daughter and niece was the exact same. it’s just her learning how to cope with her emotions and she may be one that feels them stronger than the rest and doesn’t understand why so it frustrates her further. Or possibly just early terrible twos. We skipped terrible twos thought we got off scott free them Buba almost 3 now turned into a monster to deal with at the moment. troublesome threes I think!!! Good luck hunny I feel your pain. lol Thanks f or linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme

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  4. ghostwritermummy

    oh we have days like this too. Not great is it, but like you say its always something silly. I dread the days of teenage anger- that’s not going to be pretty at all!
    x x

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  5. Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk)

    I am so glad that I am over this stage. There was a time in my life when I cant go out because my son would throw hissy fits every second on everything! It is so frustrating and sometimes the tantrums can get so crazy that I would end up crying with him.

    I didnt really know how we pass this stage. I just remember I am talking to him alot of times. His level I am kneeling so that he can see that I mean business ( I hope that is what my face is showing then). Slowly ( too slow if you ask me) he gets it. He relaxed a bit and now he is more manageable.

    Whew. Just writing about it is so hard =P
    My mantra before is This to shall pass =)

    #ShareWithMe

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  6. Mummy Tries

    The frustration period started between 12 & 18 months for my two as well. I just think it’s such a difficult time for them as they can’t communicate their needs. Not taking it personally will help you through this…and a stiff drink after the witching hour (you’ll have earned it by then) xx #PoCoLo

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  7. mel @mydaysni

    You have a lovely way of describing this ‘situation’ which I’m sure all parents can relate to! Like you say though, not matter how emotionally charged it may become (on either part) I can always put in behind me with my children (if an adult treated me like that I probably wouldn’t ever talk to them again!). #pocolo

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  8. Suzanne3childrenandit

    I promise you this is just a phase….albeit a very frustrating one on both parts! Try and see the funny side, they are quite amusing when they’re in full on strop mode. Not so funny when they’re teenagers 🙁 x

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  9. Katie

    Sleep? How dare you mention such an evil word! 😉
    Seriously though, so far all of mine have started the terrible twos when they were about 13/14 months old. As long as you keep consistent she will eventually learn to stay calmer and you will learn how to deal with the tantrum in the way that’s best for her. Some kids need loving on, some need to be left alone, others calm quickly with distractions etc. Just do whatever works best for the two of you.
    Then in about 12 years time you get to do it all over again when she has even more opinions than she does now!
    Good Luck xxx #pocolo

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  10. Verily Victoria Vocalises

    Do you know what? I always thought they got angry at this age out of frustration for not being able to do the things they wanted to but can’t manage yet! And like you, I never showed too much reaction with Grace – she soon got over it! Great post. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x

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  11. @katgrant30 (Bumps & Grind)

    Wow, a few months ago I could totally have written this exact post! We had a few months of temper, aggression, taking his frustrations out on mummy… But now he’s turned 18 months it seems to have calmed down. I mean, he still can throw a good tantrum, but they seem to have more basis in a physical need now (he’s tired, hungry or worried). I really hope this is the case for your lo, as I know how unsettling this phase is for everyone!
    #PoCoLo
    Best of luck, kx

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  12. Super Busy Mum

    I have a 16mth old, so I can relate to this. Belle will cry when Sofia finishes, or if she cannot put her hand into our cereal bowls to help herself to whatever she can grab hold of. Wee monkeys, but as you said, they are learning, learning what is right and wrong, when this end and that other things dont last forever. xx

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  13. Steph @ Pretty Unexpected

    It scares me to know that I’ve got all this to come and that it’s an inevitable phase I’ll have to get through in a year or two (I’m expecting my first baby in the next few weeks). I love your honesty – the Weetabix thing would have probably pushed me over the edge! Hope she gets through this phase soon! #pocolo

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  14. My Life As A Mummy

    Oh I remember this stage well! Luckily didn’t last long with us. But it is hard trying to get them to understand why they can’t have this or do that. Distraction worked well with us until Cameron was old enough to fully understand. Oh bugger I have this to come again with Lucas :-/

    Laura x x x

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