Challenges

Screaming. Screaming high pitched and over and over again.

She’s not upset. When I walk up the stairs she has a great big smile on her face.

She’s challenging me.

I am trying my best to ignore. I don’t want to make it a game.

But in the car. In her cot. In her high chair.

It’s hard not to resort to wine, beer or in fact hard spirits. Headache looms and I can feel myself tense.

She knows what she wants to say, but she can’t find the words yet. Her mind must be jumble, a scrabble of words trying to make sense of this mad world.She will point and gesture wildly. She will grizzle and groan. It must be exhausting. I find it exhausting trying to interpret it all.

She finds boxes, and pulls everything out of them. She will rummage through my bag and pull out my purse and all my cards. She threw my shampoo down the toilet today. Little things chipping away at my mind, my soul.

She takes off her shoes and throws them out of her buggy. In my mind I feel like screaming too. Or throwing my shoes.

Yes. She challenges me.

But I must challenge her.

I talk to her, naming objects and singing songs.

Playing games, showing her new ways of doing things.

I give her new foods to try. I wipe her face when she doesn’t like it. I change her bum and make her wash her hair and brush her teeth.

I put her into her cot and tell her when to go to sleep. Sometimes we are early, sometimes we are late.

I stopped giving her a bottle. (She wasn’t drinking out of it at all but she still got very annoyed at me the first time her bedtime milk came in a cup).

When I think about it, I challenge her every day to learn, to grow, to be looked after.

So when she screams, I am trying not to get wound up. I still have a good glug of my wine and chocolate helps. It’s easy to get frustrated and agitated. But I’m trying my best to be calm and collected and to understand things from her point of view. She’s little, I’m not. She’s still figuring it all out – as am I but I guess I have a 30 year head start on her.

Because she can’t keep screaming like this forever. Can she?!

What do you do when you feel challenged by your children?

I am also linking up to the reading residence Word of a The Week as I think “Challenges” sums it up!

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55 thoughts on “Challenges

  1. Kelly Finn

    Pretty much the same as you, stamping my own feet is good. Though I try not to do it In front of her! She’s most defiantly getting agitated now when she cannot find the words/noises that she wants. She’ll repeat the same thing over and over and I’ve no idea what she’s saying, then she gets mad. Gah. Must be so hard for them xx

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  2. Ting Dalton

    No it won’t last for ever… my son only does this occasionally now… so much easier to cope with.
    And I’ve been guilty of actually losing my cool and then feeling terribly, terribly guilty afterwards. Wine is always my tonic (and a sneaky fag, but don’t tell hubby!) x

    Reply
  3. Kirsty - Hijacked by Twins

    One of my twins screams a lot! But I have to remind myself that he does it out of frustration because his sister can tell us what she wants whereas he is still getting there with his speech bless him! When it gets like that I take them out in the garden and let him run it off and when he has calmed down talk to him x

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  4. Californian Mum in London

    I have started closings my eyes tightly to try and snap out of the need to scream. But sometimes, when it’s one thing after another, I do go out of the room and scream just so I don’t give myself an ulcer. 🙂 #blogclub

    Reply
  5. Kate Thompson

    My twins STILL scream at 8! Not sure why but twins seem louder, more hyperactive, more of a handful than 2 singletons together…. why is that? But yes, toddler screaming is really tough. x #blogclub

    Reply
  6. Rollercoaster Mum

    My two often scream at each other – the bickering drives me nuts and the 9yo often screams at me. She has never really stopped tantrumming since she was 1 so I reach for the whisky! I try to remain calm but sometimes I do shout back and I have been known to scream – #badmother but cannot help it! #blogclub

    Reply
    1. Emily Tealady Post author

      Oh you can not help it! We have our limits and I admit I lose my cool. It’s a challenge for us all and we need to have our coping mechanisms (mine is wine) xx

      Reply
  7. Michelle Twin Mum

    Ohh I am so glad mien are past the screaming stage, I am not so great at dealing with it to be honest. Staying calm and perseverance are the key. Remembering you are the adult is a good move. Mich x #blogclub

    Reply
  8. Rachel

    Chiplet screams alot as well and just rumbles around getting frustrated, I think you hit the nail on the head with how much of a jumble their heads must be and how much they need us to support them through everything – they are taking so much on board.

    Oh and wine and chocolate are essential items!

    Reply
  9. The Reading Residence

    Oh yes, so many challenges all of the time here! My 4 year old asserts her independence daily and my 19 month old does all of the things you’ve mentioned here – literally goes from one disaster to another! But yes, we challenge them, too, and they will stop screaming.

    Reply
  10. OJo Henley

    Oh hunni, it does pass. Unfortunately a whole new set of challenges will then be presented. Its not that it gets easier, you just get better at it.
    Chocolate definitly helps xxx
    #PoCoLo

    Reply
  11. Steph @ Pretty Unexpected

    Thanks for being so honest! I think I would be going insane too – I struggle enough with my irritating cat and her twisted mind games, so I have no idea how I’ll cope with my baby once he’s old enough to challenge me! Oh man, I’m in for a rough ride…

    Reply
    1. Emily Tealady Post author

      Haha, oh it’s not all bad. It is a strange thing tho. One minute they just sit there and are quiet,the next they are climbing all over you! Just buy lots of wine! X

      Reply
  12. Kate Williams

    That word sums up my three year old a lot at the moment too! I try to tell myself that he’s trying to fit out where he fits in the world and to test his boundaries but yes it is hard work at times!! #pocolo

    Reply
  13. Cate @meaddthree

    Oh yes, I know these feelings well. Some days it helps me to plot revenge for when my two are teenagers. I swear I will embarrass them so much as payback for all the tantrums! A few deep breaths also helps x

    Reply
  14. @katgrant30

    This sounds very familiar! My little boy is an expert in challenging me… Hard to know what to do… Ignoring him tends to make him yell louder, or do something more outlandish… So I guess I try to diffuse matters by changing the activity – keep calm and carry on! #pocolo x

    Reply
  15. Verily Victoria Vocalises

    It doesn’t last forever 🙂 It must be SO frustrating for them to try and communicate something to us. Not knowing the words yet but knowing what they want to say! I think that you are dealing with this fabulously well by challenging her back and letting her express herself as best she can. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x

    Reply
  16. Holly

    I remember this time SO well. You illustrate it beautifully. The challenges never end but the neither does the joy. x Visiting from #pocolo

    Reply
  17. Suzanne3childrenandit

    When my children challenge me, my instinct is to shout back, scream, dig my heels in and….sink my head into social media as a form of escapism. None of these I would recommend! I am currently training myself to walk away. If I cannot stay calm they I need to walk away. Protect yourself and find what works for you. That would be my advice. But I do feel for you, this parenting gig is so tough!

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  18. Jude

    Wow, are you living my life? I could have written that post (though maybe not as eloquently…) My daughter (16 months) has screamed from the moment she arrived. Hospital wanted to admit us cos she just didn’t stop, even when feeding. It’s getting easier, but still very very trying. What gets me most is when I know there’s nothing wrong. It’s just a game or a way of testing me. I’m normally sympathetic and try to repsond to all her demands, but it’s very hard to keep calm in those situations. She’s driven me to tears many many times…. Best of luck. Hope you find away through it. #WoftW

    Reply
  19. Jennifer

    Easy for me to laugh as this is all behind me know… I promise it gets easier. A strong personality will serve her well when she’s old enough to stop screaming 🙂 #PoCoLo

    Reply

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