There’s one secret that people don’t tell you when you’re pregnant. Well, it could just be me but I think most people will agree if they were really being honest. That is, babies are boring. There, I’ve said it.
In a way it’s been a learning curve for me as much as the baby. I’ve had to find a way to become a Mum. No-one tells you that. “It’ll change your life forever” they say -but what does that mean?
It means this. Babies sleep, eat, poo/wee and that’s about it. I didn’t expect any more from them. We all sort of know that already. It’s just the day to day living and looking after a newborn is rather dull. After the initial euphoria at being able to change a nappy, and as the anxiety and worry and checking they’re breathing every second wanes, Time blurs into one long day and days blur into one long week. Every day is similar to the last (I only differentiate days by when eastenders is on – gets tricky when they run a week long special). They cry, you respond. I’ve felt much like a milking machine for the past few weeks. I’m getting very adept at doing everything one handed; a baby in the other. Watching daytime TV and almost enjoying it. Drinking cold tea. Crying at everything. It feels like you’re waiting for something to happen but you don’t really know what.
These precious moments will never be got back. I know this. I know they’re not little forever. I know I’ll look back with my rose tinted glasses and say “oh what a lovely time that was”. But living it, is pretty tough. And the monotony of the days and nights can get to you.
I know there are always challenges but I’m looking forward to seeing my baby grow, learn, develop a personality of their own. Going on trips out to groups and classes. Seeing enjoyment and fun on her face.
Now she’s 4 weeks she’s starting to look around and look at me and smile.
Now that was worth waiting for.