Being on a diet, or healthy living plan, or whatever you want to call it, sort of takes over your life. You change before your very eyes. Suddenly, you’re talking about what cheese is the lightest and how many haribos you can eat for 1 point. Here’s 10 observations I have made about being on a diet – let me know yours as well!
1. Healthy Things Cost Money
Trying to stick to your healthy eating plan? Want a life? You go out, you choose your salad. you’re congratulating yourself on your wise choice, then you realize your salad costs more than the non-healthy option. you lose weight, but are poor, or you are fat, and can afford to eat salad – its one of life’s conundrums.
2. You become addicted to fat TV
Fat: a year to save my life, Super Size vs. Super skinny, biggest loser…there are loads of these shows. And sometimes you may feel a bit smug and/or better as you don’t weigh as much as they do. Even though you’re probably eating a biscuit when you’re watching.
3. Everything becomes Mini
You become obsessed with anything miniture. Teeny tiny morsels of niceness that you can savour, for about a minute. Mini Babybels, mini twisters, mini flapjacks are just a few.
You make sauces out of random household items such as Fanta and a mysterious item called Quark that you have never seen before in your life.
5. Crazy-Ass Recipes
You start following mad recipes such as ‘mushy pea curry’ and start to put baked beans in everything. You make chocolates out of shredded wheat and Nutella out of desperation, and try and make some sort of cake out of pasta.
6. Weigh yourself
When you weigh in the first time, you wear whatever it is you’re wearing. No probs. A few weeks later, you are going to the toilet 3 times, turning around 6 times and touching your nose once whilst wearing a negligee before you stand on the scales.
7. You try and convince yourself initially that walking to the canteen to buy a diet coke is excersize. The next week, you’re breaking your ankle undertaking Insanity with 30 day shred on as background music.
8. It’s all you can talk about
It becomes a total obsession. you want to tell everyone about your points, what you’ve eaten, and how hard it was/how easy it was to eat that Penguin. Instagram is your friend. You may, Er, blog about it too.
9. Wine doesn’t count
Wine doesn’t count. Especially on Fridays. Or Saturdays. It’s like water, or something.
10. Cheat Days Rule
You can’t go on a diet without having weigh-in day as a cheat day. When after you weigh in, you pop next door to the chippy and queue up behind everyone else from the class.